


Shared dreams

by Alithelioness



Series: still with you [2]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Chef Kim Seokjin | Jin, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Gay Parents, Kid Bangtan Boys | BTS, Kid Jeon Jungkook, Kid Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kid Kim Taehyung | V, Kid Min Yoongi | Suga, Kid Park Jimin (BTS), M/M, Parents Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Seokjin | Jin, Producer Kim Namjoon | RM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithelioness/pseuds/Alithelioness
Summary: Follow up to "I look at you and I dream" Namjoon and Seokjin's life with five kids and a shared dream, to raise a happy, healthy and loving family.
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Series: still with you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776814
Comments: 51
Kudos: 248





	1. Mi casa

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! This has officially become a series, this particular work doesn’t have a specific plot, it simply intends to show everythinghi everyone! This has officially become a series, this particular work doesn’t have a specific plot, it simply intends to show everything from major events to everyday occurrences of the Kim family.

In the beginning, Namjoon and Jin did everything they could to get time alone as a couple, on their first date they went cycling on the country side, another time they had a nice romantic picnic by a lake or simply went hiking somewhere, they kept their dates low key and simple, not wanting to draw attention from the media to that early onto their relationship before they even explained to the kids what was going on between their parents.

Eventually they had to go public, luckily by then the kids were well aware and adjusted to their relationship and behaved well whenever Jackson and Jinyoung were nice enough to babysit the children for them to go on a date, still they didn't often have time to make dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant or to plan and extravagant weekend getaways, after all, they had jobs and five little ones to look after.

But they always managed to carve time for each other despite their busy schedules, even if it was simply sharing snuggles and a cup of tea before going to bed or sitting outside chatting under the stars, those little moments meant the world to Namjoon but being with the kids, having all of them together, it simply felt right.

Most days one of them would cook dinner at their place, while the other would pick up the kids from school, Namjoon was on cooking duty today, waiting for Seokjin and the kids to come home, that has a nice ring to it, Namjoon thought, to have dinner as a family.

Namjoon was still smiling as he leaned over the stove, stirring the large pot of kimchi jjigae when he heard the front door opening followed by the pitter patter of tiny feet against the marble floor “Appa?"

“in the kitchen!” he replied as he covered the pot with its lid and walking away from the stove

“no running inside the house!” Seokjin’s voice echoed throughout the house

“hi, appa!” Hoseok was the first one to reach him, socked feet helping him slide through the kitchen floor “I win!” he exclaims as Namjoon helps the boys stabilize himself

“no fair!” Jimin says, arms already crossed when he appears on the kitchen door

“I wanted to say hi to him first” Taehyung says pushing past his twin to make his way towards his appa

“hey guys” Namjoon chuckles as the three cling onto him

“hey appa” Yoongi greets him as calmly walks in holding Jungkook’s hand

“pa!” the youngest one says exclaims reaching out towards him

“Jimin, Hoseok, Taehyung” Seokjin says leaning against the doorframe “what did I say about running? And we don’t leave shoes and coats scattered around like that, go put them in their place please”

“yes, daddy” the three pout reluctantly letting go of Namjoon’s legs to head back towards the entrance

“I’ll help them” Yoongi offers, Taehyung grabs a hold of his hand and starts swinging it back and forth

“should I go tidy up my things too?” Namjoon asks bending over to pick up Jungkook

“they might learn someday” Seokjin pushing off the doorframe “you on the other hand…”

“have you given up on me already?” Namjoon asks placing his free hand on his chest “you wound me”

“I’ve learned to love you despite your messiness” Seokjin says before giving him a quick peck on the lips, making Namjoon forget about any clever comeback, he tried to grab a hold of his waist but Seokjin simply scurried away towards the stove

“I only get one kiss?” Namjoon asks trying not to pout when Seokjin smirks grabbing a spoon to taste the jjigae

“kiss!” Jungkook repeats before planting a wet kiss on his forehead, Namjoon coos at their little boy, tickling his tummy

“thank you, Jungkookie” he tells the giggling toddler in his arms, Seokjin hums as he tastes the stew

“you did well” he tells Namjoon with a smile

“I just followed your recipe” he shrugs as Jungkook stretches his arms and tries to grab the spoon

“you did learn from the best” Seokjin says, blowing on the food before spooning some into his son’s mouth

“what’s for dinner?” Yoongi asks walking back into the kitchen, followed by the younger ones

“appa made Kimchi jjigae” Seokjin informs him

“with rice?” Jimin asks bouncing on his feet

“and gim?” Taehyung ads

“of course!” Namjoon tells them “go wash your hands dinner is almost ready”

Namjoon felt like the old table had somehow shrank through the years, growing up his mother had fed him and his sister all their meals on this very table, he remembers countless nights when the table had been completely taken over by this books as he pulled all-nighters throughout his education and how once a year it would be filled with all types of delicious treats his mother made for chuseok. Years later he had brought his mother's table from his old apartment, the oak wood furniture still served its purpose even if more crowded than ever before.

Somehow they all managed to fit everyone and everyone, missed matched bowls and sippy cups as well as chopsticks and spoons with different cartoons characters plastered on them that each of the kids liked to use.

“it’s a bit hot, daddy” Jimin lifting a spoonful of steaming jjigae, Seokjin looks up from where he’s feeding Jungkook and smiles 

“you have to blow on it-” he says and the toddler inhales deeply before blowing hard at the piyopiyo spoon and spilling its contents all over the small table "carefully..." the chef sighs as the rest of the kids start laughing

"are you trying to be cute, Jiminie?” Namjoon says grabbing a napkin and cleaning the boy’s face and hands

" no... " Jimin giggles after flashing that mischievous smirk of his

“hyungie will do it” Yoongi says taking the spoon from him and scoots closer to the younger boy to help him cool down his food

“it’s really yummy appa!” Hoseok says after downing most of his food

"thanks Hobi" Namjoon says, feeding Seokjin, the other man has yet to touch his food too busy feeding their youngest

“appa, can I have more?” Taehyung asks lifting his empty bowl of rice

“me too, please!” Hoseok raises his hand

“sure” Namjoon says getting up from his seat and grabbing their bowls, he has learned by now that you can never make too much rice, especially when you’re feeding five little kids. The younger ones specially seemed to have an impressive appetite and Namjoon loved to watch them enjoy the food he made for them

“these kids are depleting your pantry” Seokjin tells him once he’s back from the kitchen with the second round of rice “say thanks to appa” he tells the kids before finally turning to his own food after whipping Jungkook’s face

“thanks appa!” the boys say immediately digging into their rice

“dada, gim!” Jungkook says as reaches towards the roasted seaweed

“wow, seriously” Seokjin laughs handing him a piece of gim and watching him stuff his little mouth

"they have to eat a lot if they want to grow big and strong" Namjoon says returning to his seat

"like appa!" Taehyung grins pointing at him with his spoon

“hey! I'm strong too, I carry all your groceries" Seokjin complains in his pouty voice, Namjoon laughs as he throws an arm around his shoulder but only because of his cute pout, he’s come to find that Seokjin despite his delicate appearance and lean physique the man was surprisingly strong "oh speaking of which, I'm going to the farmer’s market tomorrow, do you want me to get you some stuff too?" he turns to Namjoon and he’s once again caught staring but he doesn’t care because now he’s allowed, he can openly admire Seokjin’s beautiful face and body without shame and he’s loving every second of it, especially when he can make the other one fluster, make him advert his gaze and his ears turn red

“that would be great” the producer says turning back to his food and making a mental list of the things they need, when it was only him and Yoongi the list was pretty short and the trips to the grocery store where not as frequent but Namjoon thinks he like it better this way as long as he gets to have them all happily cramped around their small dining room table.

After dinner Seokjin insisted on washing the dishes and tidying up the kitchen while Namjoon helped the older kids with their homework, Yoongi had no problem doing the exercises on their worksheets, when it came to reading and writing was way ahead of his class but often struggled with math. Hoseok on the other hand was the exact opposite, he breezes through his math work but struggles to catch up with the reading and writing and that shouldn’t be surprising when you consider that English it’s not his native tongue and Seokjin’s ‘only Korean at home’ rule, Namjoon knows firsthand how difficult it can be. He already knew how to speak English when he first came to America but having to switch back to Korean the moment he set foot at home could be confusing at times, so he’s more than happy to help Hoseok through this. He thinks it’s amazing really, how all the kids, even Jungkook can easily switch back and forth between the languages and that’s something he wants to encourage in them.

"and what letter is this?” he asks using a pencil to point it out, he smiles seeing Hoseok’s little dimples show up on his face as he concentrates

“b" the boy says after a moment of consideration, turning to Yoongi who’s hovering over his shoulder with an attentive look on his face

"that’s right!” Namjoon says before switching back to English “And what sound does that make when you put it with a u?"

"bu?" Hobi says hesitantly, bringing his index finger to his temple

"good job! And what if you add an s at the end?”

“bus!” Hoseok blurts out and Yoongi nods and gives him a proud smile

“wow! You’re so good!” Namjoon says high fiving each of the boys “you guys can read English and Hangeul, amazing! And we are all done for today” he fishes out his phone from his pocket and pick up when he sees Jackson’s name flashing across the screen “give me a second guys- hello?"

"hey man, are you busy?" Jackson asks voice raspy and tired accompanied by the sound of fast typing coming through the phone

“just helping the kids with their homework, why?” he says watching the boys clearing up the table and packing up their school supplies

“can you send me the original file for the demo track? oh and I need a few samples and the vocals we recorded yesterday" Jackson urgency shaking off a bit of tiredness from his voice

"sure, I'll send them to you right now" he tells him and he can hear his friend’s muffled yawn

"thanks Joon-ah, say hi to hyung and the kids for me!" Jackson says with a sleepy voice

“sure! Tell Jin-young I said hi” he knows his friends have a lot on their plate but Jackson it’s one of the hardest working people Namjoon knows, if anything can handle all this, its Jackson. After ending the call, Namjoon leans back on his chair and calls for Jin “I need to send Jackson a couple of files from my studio"

“okay!” he calls back from the kitchen

“you guys can go play with the little ones now” Namjoon tells Yoongi and Hoseok as he gets up from his chair, he knows it’s a matter of time before Seokjin shows up with a sweet treat so he decides to hurry up because that’s not something he wants to miss.

Having a studio at home had made Namjoon’s life a lot easier, he could record anytime he wanted, he could finally set up his home studio just the way he wanted it and he could actually play his music without having to worry about disturbing any neighbors, not only because of the secluded location of his home but also because the studio was completely soundproofed, this was his safe haven where he could let his ideas flow.

But right now, he blaringly stares at the bar showing the upload’s progress, wondering if it has advanced at all when the door opens, only two people have the access code so he smiles before even turning back “I saved you a slice of pie” Seokjin says carefully setting the small tray before him “try not to spill it all over your expensive gadgets”

“Jin?” he calls, stopping the other man who’s already on his way out

“Yes?” Seokjin turns putting his hand on his waist

“Come here a second” Namjoon says extending both arms towards him, a small smile dance on his partner’s lips as he rolls his eyes before reaching a hand towards Namjoon

“Hey” he grins after he’s pulled Seokjin into his lap

“Hey” the shorter man grins back as he wraps his arms around his neck

“I love you” Namjoon whispers into his lips before softly kissing them. He knows he can't credit his recent creative bonanza solely to his new studio, because he's sure that having Seokjin as his muse has a lot more to do with it.

He could fill pages and pages with words describing how much he loved this man, his upcoming full length album was an evidence of that, unlike his previous work, this one came from a place of light, songs filled with hope and happiness that captured exactly how he's been feeling these past few months. He smiles into the kiss thinking back on how terrified he’d been the first time he uttered those three words and how now they come out as easy as breathing but just as meaningful, Seokjin leans his forehead into his breaking away from the kiss

“all of a sudden? just because I brought you pie?” he asks making a silly face making Namjoon’s laugh jostles Seokjin when he leans to rest his head on his shoulder, once the laughs had died down he whispers back “I love too”

They bask in the silence, the light from the monitor illuminating Seokjin’s beautiful side profile, Namjoon hums when starts carding his fingers through the short hairs on the back of his head “This chair is pretty sturdy just saying” Namjoon tells him gently rubbing his knee

“I sure hope it is or you'll break it in no time” Seokjin says after letting out a snort

“We could test it out, baby” he says moving up to his thigh

“Stop” the other man laughs pushing away from him, covering his crimson ears with his hands “The kids…”

“I know, I know” Namjoon chuckles reaching for his left hand and lacing their fingers together “stay with me, I'm almost done”

They walk back to the house hand in hand to find the kids sprawled out in the living room floor playing with oversized Lego blocks, the ones big enough not to be a choking hazard thankfully because Jungkook and Taehyung are less focused on building and more focused in nomming on them

“Your studio looks pretty much finished” Seokjin comments once they’ve settle on the couch with two mugs of tea 

“Yeah, I'm just waiting for my new console to arrive and I'll be done” Namjoon hums before taking a sip of his tea

“Meanwhile the rest of this place looks so empty” his partner chuckles into his own mug

“hey! At least I unpacked all the boxes this time” he says nudging him with his foot

“Yes, but this place is huge” Seokjin says setting down his mug before grabbing his foot and then the other to bring them up to his lap “When are you going to buy all the stuff you said you wanted?” Seokjin says gently rubbing his feet “You had this whole concept planned out for the decor, remember?”

“Yeah but I'm sure about it anymore” Namjoon shrugs, he'd been excited about decorating the place when he first moved in, he had this vision on his head of how the final product would look but after actually living here he realized that the original idea wasn't functional enough, a house full of kids had to be less focused on the esthetic and more on the confort and safety of it's inhabitants, maybe with practical and sturdy furniture with the least amount of sharp corners as possible but also keep it warm, inviting and unique, something that screamed home.

"Why not?" Seokjin's pleasant voice pulled him out of his thoughts

"I don't know where to begin" he shrugs making the other man chuckles

"Well I don't know much about interior design but you could at least buy a bigger dining table, one that actually fits all of us?" Namjoon hums adoring the sweet smile on seokjin's face

"Yeah, I definitely should" Namjoon nods looking around the room as he leans against the armrest, the kids seemed to enjoy the openness of the house, but during the movie nights they had a hard time fitting everyone on the couch comfortably, so a new couch is definitely number two on the list

“And I should go get the kids ready, it's getting late” Seokjin covering his mouth with his hand before yawning

"No, don't go" Namjoon wiggles his feet on his lap "Just stay over"

"why do you always do this?" He laughs pinching his toe

"because I don't want you to leave" the taller man whining could rival Taehyung's

"oh Joonie, we didn't plan stay on staying the night" Seokjin coos at him with an amused smile “we don't have all our stuff here-"

"Well then we'll bring all your stuff here-" Namjoon says jutting out his lower lip and crossing his arm

"Namjoon..." Seokjin says gently pushing his feet off his lap

"Then you can stay every night" Namjoon mumbles keeping his eyes down as he fiddles with his watch not realizing that Seokjin had scooted closer to him until he placed his hand on top of his

"Joonie, do you realize what you're saying?" Seokjin asks in a low voice

"Yes" Namjoon says finally meeting his beautiful doe eyes

"No you don't" Seokjin Shakes his head "you're basically asking me to move in with you"

"I think it would be nice, that's what families do, right? they live together" Namjoon simply shrugs

"We need to talk about this-" Seokjin says after blinking a couple of times, each blink increasing his nervousness and his need to ramble

"I mean, I'm just saying and only if you want to-"

"I do" Seokjin shuts him up with a kiss "that's why we need to talk about it"

"Really?" Namjoon laughs taking a hold of his hand

"Well yeah!" Seokjin says looking down at their hands "I love it when we're all together and I miss you when you when we're apart and it would make things so much easier with the kids, oh they would be so happy"

"Wait, I'm getting excited" Namjoon laughs again, unable to hide his excitement

"Me too!" Seokjin covers his mouth with his hand "But don't you think it's too soon? We've only been together for a few months..."

"And we've pretty much been living together for half of that time and it's been great"

"It has" Seokjin agrees

"so are we really doing this?" Namjoon asks getting a nod in response "Where would you want to live? I know this house is bigger but your house-"

"I think we've outgrown that house" Seokjin shrugs "our family has, I think it's time for a change and I'm ready to make new memories here, with you and the kids


	2. like a butterfly

Even though Hobi had fallen asleep a little while ago, Seokjin continued gently caressing his back in the way that soothed the hyper boy to sleep for a little longer before he finally leaving his room, he gently closes the door before heading to the twin’s room, as usual Taehyung had chosen to abandon his bed to join his brother, the two seemed content to sleep with their arms wrapped around each other, so he just let them be. Taehyung was extremely clingy when he slept and he was lucky to have cuddle enthusiast Jimin as his roommate, as long as the two are happy and are able to sleep peacefully he doesn't see anything wrong with them sleeping together, so he simply throws Taehyung's blankets on top of them and heads to the nursery to check on his youngest one more time.

Seokjin smiled down at Jungkook, running his fingers through his soft dark hair, his baby was growing fast, he's walking confidently now and talking a lot more, his crib would soon have to be converted into a toddler bed, the father knew that if he thought about it too much he might cry so he simply moved to the dresser and closed Jungkook's music box, leaving on his white noise machine before heading to his own room. Before starting his night routine, he checked his phone and a missed call from Namjoon from a few minutes ago, he immediately called back and passed back and forth until the call connected "Namjoon-ah, is everything okay?" he asked, he'd seen Namjoon and Yoongi less than an hour ago but he couldn't help but to worry for the two of them

  
"uh yes, I mean we're okay but-" he hears rustling on the other line and muffled crying "I think Yoongi needs to talk to you... He's a little upset"

"put him on the phone" Seokjin immodestly says, heart clenching at the thought of his little Yoongi crying“Jin wants to talk to you” he hears Namjoon saying followed by Yoongi’s sniffles

"hello?" Yoongi’s voice is tiny and watery but he can tell he’s trying to be brave

"Yoongi-ssi, are you having a hard time sleeping?" Seokjin asks in a gentle voice

"uh huh” the boy answers followed by more sniffles

"something made you upset?" he asks the child wanting to encourage Yoongi to communicate his emotions

"you left" Yoongi replies, his voice breaking before he begins to cry

"oh sweetheart" Seokjin coos and apologizes to him "We'll stay over next time, I promise and you'll see the boys at school tomorrow"

“And you?” the boy mumbles, Seokjin can picture the little pout on his lips and pleading eyes, something he’s noticed about Yoongi is that while he’s never referred to him as ‘dad’, ‘daddy’ or ‘appa’, not that he has to, he’s told him many times before that it’s his decision to make, he also avoids calling him as hyung or even by his name, whatever makes the him comfortable is fine with Seokjin

“You'll see me too” Seokjin says taking a seat on his bed

“Promise?” Yoongi whispers and Seokjin smile

“I Promise” he reassures him “You want to me to stay on the phone with you for a little while?”

“Yes, please”

“Of course darling, just lay down and close your eyes” he says as gently as he can manage “Breath in and out” he listens patiently when Yoongi’s breathing begins to even out he sings softly for him "You got me, I look at you and I dream I got you... " he waits for the other line to go completely quiet after a few minutes before whispering “Sweet dreams little sugar plum, love you" after that there’s more rustling on the other side, before he hears a door shutting gently.

  
“I think he's out for the night” Namjoon low voice says before letting out a deep sigh “Sorry about that, he started crying as soon as you guys left”

  
“I hate leaving him, it feels like I'm abandoning him every time" He replies softly before letting out a sigh of his own

“He's always had separation anxiety, because of everything he's been through” Namjoon says, speaking at normal volume now that he’s in his room “it's my fault really, I-”

“Oh Joonie, don't say that” Seokjin cuts him off, sitting up on his bed “You're an amazing father and Yoongi loves more than anything in the world”

“Besides you” Namjoon argues and he can’t help but to smile, still though, he softly shakes his head to himself

“I love him too” he hums pausing for a second before adding “And we'll help him out everything he's going through”

“he has an appointment tomorrow and I was planning on asking his therapist how to tell him about you guys moving in” his partner informs him, Namjoon had decided to start taking him to therapy a couple of months ago after he heard from Seokjin how much it helped his children, specially Hoseok. Yoongi had been reluctant at first but after a few visits he started opening up to the therapist, little by little they could see the boy working through his abandonment issues caused by his absent mother and processing his grief and mourning his beloved grandmother.

“That would be the best” Seokjin says, no matter how many parenting books he’s read he still prefers having an expert’s opinion “After you tell him, we can tell the rest of the boys

“You think they'll like the idea? Namjoon groans on the other line “I want them to be happy and if they aren't-”

“Of course they will, all they ever talk about is how much they love their you and Yoongi, how cool you guys are and how much they miss you” his partner stays silent so he adds “the twins asked me the other day ‘how come appa and hyung don’t live with us?’”

“but isn’t it confusing for them? I don’t want them to think I’m trying to replace their father” Namjoon blurts out, lowering his voice at the end of his sentence

“Joon, love” Seokjin begins rubbing his face “to be honest, I don’t think they remember much about him”

“I don’t really remember much about my own father but-” the other man mumbles “Hobi mentioned him to me before”

“I think he mostly remembers how he felt whenever he was around because it wasn’t a positive experience… Jae Hwan wasn’t around as much, he wasn’t really involved in their lives” Seokjin says remembering what the therapist had told him about mourning and grieving in young children and their case in particular “If they ever want to know more about him I’ll tell them what they need to know, they have a memory box and pictures of him, hopefully they’ll just remember the good things”

“he was still their father” Namjoon croaks out

“Legally, yes” Seokjin sighs, remembering that it was only because of Jae Hwan’s lawyers that they were able to go through the whole adoption process not one but three times in less than two years “But remember, they decided to call you ‘appa’ because that’s how they see you…around you, they feel wanted and loved, that’s all I ever wanted for them” the other line goes quiet for a moment before he gets a reply

“I love you so much baby” he can hear Namjoon trying to hide his sniffles

“I love you too” Seokjin says and he can feel his eyes beginning to tear up “now go to bed before you make me cry” Namjoon lets out a wet laugh at that and after saying their goodnights, Seokjin was finally able to resume his skincare routine, brush his teeth he can’t ignore Namjoon’s toothbrush sitting next to his on the sink or how a few of Namjoon’s products were mixed with his. Seokjin’s pajamas had been replaced by an oversized shirt and pair of comfy sweatpants Namjoon had left here.  
The truth is they already spent every other night at each other’s homes, been on a couple of trip together, with and without the kids. Their lives seemed to blend together easily and their routines fit each other’s perfectly. They’ve fought and they’ve made up, over important matter and the silliest of things, all while learning how to be a couple but also how to co-parent their blended family.

  
Namjoon knows that Seokjin enjoys playful banter every now on then, but only when he’s the one to initiate it, he also knows that he has a tendency to nag, that though patient he can get annoyed fairly quickly but it’s an expert at controlling and understanding his emotions but not so good at communicating them. That it’s best to acknowledge it and apologize if you upset him somehow because he has no problem doing the same in return.  
He’s a creature of habits that prefers doing things at his own pace, preferring not to stray far from his routine an evidence of that was how cranky he got when he didn’t have his meals at the right time, good at starting conversations but more of a listener than a talker an absurd sense of humor the two seemed to share, that while Seokjin is not very romantic he makes up for it with his affectionate and caring nature.  
Namjoon also knows that there are certain aspects of his children’s education that he won’t compromise, he has clear standards and firm boundaries for the boys but because their parents had been both authoritarian and uninvolved he tried to be neither of those. He was involved and present, assertive yet flexible and overall warm and loving. That he is one to remain calm but also firm even during the worst of tantrums, being outnumbered by the kids made him aware how important it is to stay in control.  
Seokjin knows that Namjoon has a tendency to be passive aggressive when he’s angry or annoyed, that he tends to overthink and mull over things, including his feelings so it might take him longer than expected to let you know if you did something to upset him but will do it in the best way possible and use it as a learning opportunity for everyone involved.

  
He knows better than to interrupt Namjoon when he’s focused on his work but also when to pull him away from it when he’s seems stuck, that he likes to rant about the many things he cares about deeply, that he’s mindful of other’s emotions and feelings, that he always tries to make other feel good about themselves but doesn’t always remember to do that for himself, because of that he might be can be insecure and in need of reassurance luckily Seokjin has no problem giving him.  
Namjoon’s romantic nature, took him by surprise at first, the meaningful gifts, sentimental gestures, the small details he remembered, the cute pet names and being showered in sincere compliments were different from anything Seokjin had experience in his previous relationship, he’s definitely never had whole albums written about him before, he loves this aspect of Namjoon and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

  
The younger man was not only a great partner but also a great father but he can sometimes get overwhelmed and freeze before the chaos of their big family, letting Seokjin take charge in those situation and follow along and provide support, but Namjoon exceptional at giving the kids one on one time, at making them feel special and important at teaching them things and encouraging to think for themselves not to mention developing their creativity and helping them pursue personal interest.  
Overall, He is sure that Namjoon is the man he wants as his partner, as a father for his children, he never made him doubt it for a second as things were, Seokjin knew that packing and moving everything would take a while and selling the house might take even longer, they knew how stressful and messy moves could be and they also knew they had to talk to the kids before this huge change in their lives took place but Yoongi and Hoseok would be starting their summer break next week and with the twins would be starting preschool in September, it would be nice to have everyone in the same house before the summer break was over.

* * *

  
Seokjin placed his hand on Namjoon’s knee to stop it from bouncing, the younger man always got a little antsy whenever his son had a session, that's why Seokjin tried to be there for him and for Yoongi. His little face always light up when he saw the other boys waiting for him, he hoped that it would bring a sense of normalcy to the situation, the younger ones were familiar with this place and with Dr. Mishler.

  
Seokjin gave Namjoon a little smile and the man sighed before putting his larger hand of top and squeezing it lightly before returning the smile, Yoongi would be out any moment now and then Namjoon would have a chance to talk to the therapist, in the meantime they watched while Taehyung and Jungkook colored with crayons on the kid size table and Hoseok and Jimin sat on the carpet doing a puzzle together for the hundredth time, cheering just as enthusiastically every time they completed it

  
"good job! You were so much faster this time" Seokjin clapped along with them the kids smiled brightly before Jimin scattered the pieces so they could start

"daddy, appa!" Taehyung says getting up from his tiny chair and holding up his artwork "do you like my picture?"

“wow! Tae it looks amazing!" Namjoon said and he looked genuinely impressed as the boy came closer to show off his work “I love the blue and pink you used for the sunset, the colors are nicely blended"

"my little artist” Seokjin smiled, he wouldn't be surprised if Taehyung actually ended up being one, he seemed to share Namjoon’s passion for art and was very much fascinated with his art book collection, Seokjin internationally cringed every time the three-year old's tiny fingers reached for the beautifully illustrated tomes but Namjoon seemed happy to share

"it's for you appa" Taehyung prims at the compliments "and for daddy, you have to share"

"well find a special place for it" Namjoon says accepting the piece of paper, surely he will display it somewhere in the house

"thank you, darling" Seokjin says, his smile getting wider when he sees his son's 'signature' scribbled at the bottom right of the picture

"hyungie!" Jimin called and three other little heads whipped in direction to the office door

"wow! look Yoongi, they're all waiting for you" the Dr. says when she sees the four little one rushing towards them, she crouches down and holds up her hands to high five each of the kids

“hi Adrianne!" Hoseok greets happily, he'd grown fond of the doctor during his own sessions

"How are you doing Hobi?“ she asks as she stands back up

" I'm good! Daddy and appa are taking us to get ice-cream later" the boy gushes holding his hyung's hand and swinging it back and forth

"lucky you! That's awesome" she therapist says before her eyes travel up to meet the parents

" Dr. Mishler, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute" Namjoon asks politely

"of course" she says signaling for him to follow her back to the office

"What flavor of ice-cream do you each want?" Seokjin asks and leads the kids back to the waiting area

"strawberry!" Jimin says with a bounce in his step

"cherry for me" Taehyung ads

"I want mint choco” Hoseok says as he claps his hands, Seokjin lightly shakes his head, most of the time when you're a parent you end up eating your kid's leftovers but he refuses eat toothpaste flavored ice-cream and so does Namjoon, hopefully Hoseok and Jungkook will finish theirs or it will be a be a big waste of chocolate for the world.

“me too!" Jungkook smiles 

  
"What about you, sweetheart?" Seokjin asks Yoongi, who's been looking back at the office door

  
"lemon sherbet?"

"great choice!"

* * *

  
Their little ice-cream outing was a bust, Taehyung dropped his ice-cream and when Jimin laughed at him, he slapped the cone right out of his twin’s hand, while Seokjin corrected them, Namjoon cleaned and Jungkook took the opportunity to grab his ice cream in his hand only to start crying when it began melting and dripping down his arm. They left after apologizing to the staff, most likely they were used to this type of scene, Seokjin wiped all their hands and faces clean with baby wipes before they got in the car, by the time they got to Seokjin's place the three youngest were already asleep and Hoseok was nodding on and off in his seat.

  
“no wonder they were so grumpy” Seokjin murmurs slightly rocking his 18-month old child in his arms  
“

they were exhausted” Namjoon says fetching Jungkook’s pink bunny plushy from the rocking chair, Seokjin hummed in agreement as he places the sleeping toddler in his crib, he began squirming until Namjoon placed the plushy in his arms, the two silently watched him cuddle the bunny for a bit before heading out the door.

“what did Adrianne say?” Seokjin asks once they’re out in the hallway with Namjoon’s arm thrown across his shoulder

“she said I should just be honest with him” his partner replies as they head towards the stairs “to explain what it meant and answer all his questions, obviously I should be the one to break the news but I think you should talk to him too”

“of course” the shorter man nods reaching to hold Namjoon’s hand over his shoulder, when down the hall, Hobi’s door creaks open

“Maybe today-”

"appa?” Yoongi’s little face pops out, speaking softly to not wake up Hoseok

“hey buddy” Namjoon greets and Seokjin waves at him with a smile, Yoongi usually slept on Hoseok’s room when they stayed over, the two seemed happy to share the trundle bed during their sleepovers but while Hoseok usually needed a short nap to get him through the day, the older boy had outgrown naps almost completely

“do I have to nap?" Yoongi asks, speaking in that adorable pout of his "I'm not really tired"

"then you can hang out with us"

The three of them sat on the couch watching dooly the dinosaur, Seokjin through it was hilarious the boy loved the same old cartoon he'd grown up watching, Yoongi sat between them and watched intently with his mouth hanging open, gasping when the dad threw dooly across the room after eating the food from the fridge "that was mean"

"it was, wasn't it?" Seokjin agrees and feels more on Yoongi's weight leaning on him

"we don't hit people or dinosaurs" he mumbles now fully pressed against the adult

"that's right, sweetheart" Seokjin says carding his fingers through the boy's hair  
Yoongi was such a precious little thing, he always listened and observed, he was always taking everything in and learning from that. He’s grown so much in the time Seokjin has known him, he’s a lot more talkative and confident, he’s very good hyung as well, always helping the younger ones and being oh so patient but he himself was still a little boy. When he and Namjoon first started dating he’d been confused, he didn’t understand what it all meant, he had a lot of questions and concerns that Namjoon did his best to explain and appease.

Just because Yoongi is now accepting of their relationship and he has formed a bond with Seokjin, it doesn’t mean that he will love the idea of all of them moving together. The five-year-old was incredibly selfless when it came to his father, he didn’t mind sharing Namjoon’s attention with four other kids and Seokjin but maybe Yoongi didn’t want that 24/7, maybe he wanted things to remain the way they were. Seokjin knows his kids would be delighted by the idea, they truly love Namjoon and Yoongi so much so Seokjin insisted on asking Yoongi first and if he didn’t like the idea then the other wouldn’t get their hopes up in vain, Seokjin and Namjoon want the kids to be happy, all of them.  
When the episode of the show ends and another one is about to start playing, Seokjin plants a kiss on top of Yoongi’s head and gets up from the couch "I should get started on dinner" he says as he walks around the couch, Namjoon tilts his head up looking up at him all smiles, he kisses his dimpled cheek and heads for the kitchen, giving Namjoon some time alone with his son.

Seokjin gets to cooking, one ear trained on the baby monitors while he starts breading the pork cutlet for the tonkatsu, he finishes the last one and set it aside, washes his hands to start chopping the cabbage when he feels a tiny human crashing into him from behind and clinging into his pant leg, usually he can instantly tell which kid it is but he’s a little confused by the height and size, when he turns to look over his shoulder he sees Yoongi, face read and eyes wet

“what’s wrong?” Seokjin asks, quickly drying his hands on his apron before crouching to look at the boy face to face

“a-appa said… he-” Yoongi struggled to speak between the sobs that shook his tiny frame

“oh sweetheart, it’s okay” Seokjin says placing his hand on his narrow shoulders “nothing is going to happen unless you want it to, it’s okay if you don’t want any of this-”

“but I do!” Yoongi cries and Seokjin has to blink a couple of times “I want to live with you and- and Hobi and the babies- and I want you to be my dad!”

“sweetheart, I already am your dad” Seokjin says pulling the boy to his chest feeling hot tears slide down his own face “I’ll be your dad for as long as you want me to”

“you’re not going to leave me? Like m-my eomma?” Yoongi asks with a trembling voice

“Yoongi, look at me” Seokjin says pulling from the hug “I would never leave a wonderful, amazing, smart, loving, funny, sweet little boy like yourself”

“w-why?” the boy asks, so unsure, so small in Seokjin’s arms

“what do you mean ‘why?’” he lets out a humorless laugh, because that question should never enter Yoongi’s mind “because I love you”

“L-like you love them?” the five-year-old once again asks for reassurance

“yes, I love you all just the same” Seokjin says cupping his soft cheeks “and so does your appa, are you okay sharing his love with your brothers and me?”

“y-yes” Yoongi replies accompanied by a nod, Seokjin can hear sniffles coming from someone others than himself and Yoongi and he turns to find Namjoon standing by the door with the exact same look on his face as his son

“can I get some of that love too?” the man asks and Seokjin laughs beckoning him closer, of course the father was just as emotional as his son but also just as sweet

“there’s plenty to go around” Seokjin says when Namjoon wraps his long arms around both of them “we’re going to have a house full of love sweetheart you’ll see”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I was around four I asked my mom's then boyfriend if I could call him "dad", he says he said he was already my dad from the moment he met me, we just celebrated his birthday and he brought it up, guess that's what inspired me to write this.  
> Thank you for reading, be healthy and happy always!


	3. Still, still

“We should get dinner” Namjoon blurted out, they were at Seokjin’s place, in the mostly empty living room packing up the remaining things into boxes  
“We literally just did” Seokjin looked up from the box he was currently packing, the tiny ponytail Jimin had created on top of his hair earlier bouncing with the movement “you did the dishes, remember?”

“No, I mean dinner together” Namjoon can’t help but to grin at the cute sprout hair on top of his head “Just you and me”

“Like a date?” Seokjin smirks from where he’s sitting on the ground on his light blue pajamas

“I mean we are dating, aren't we?” Namjoon crouching next to Seokjin

“Nope, we're boyfriends and soon to be roommates” he replies taking the tape and closing the box

“I’d say we're way more than that but okay, sure” Namjoon pouts and Seokjin giggles as he bumps him with his shoulder before sealing the box with the tape “So... Friday night? I'll ask my sister if she can babysit”

“Sounds good to me” Seokjin hums putting his hand on his knee

“Great, there's this restaurant I've been dying to go to” Namjoon smiles placing his hand on top of Seokjin’s smaller one, Seokjin is quiet for a moment before he turns to him, nose scrunched

“It's not taco bell, is it?” he asks and Namjoon snorts

“Of course not” he says between laughs “I read about in a magazine and then found great reviews online”

“You've been spending way too much time with me, you're always thinking about food” Seokjin says tangling their fingers together

“Is that a bad thing?” Namjoon asks eyebrows furrowed as he stands up, pulling Seokjin up with him 

“It's a wonderful thing” Seokjin beams, leaning in to give him a quick peck “It'll be nice to have dinner and not get strawberry milk spilled in my lap for once”

“I can't promise you that” Namjoon says, nuzzling into his neck and it’s Seokjin’s turn to snort, he however is able to do so and still look incredibly attractive but that’s just Seokjin, he can look gorgeous with no makeup and sweatpants, look like an angel as he changes diapers with his face swollen and wearing one of Namjoon’s threadbare shirt but it’ll be nice to get all dressed up and take him out on a nice date for once “but I can promise you a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant”

Namjoon went all out, he got Seokjin a bouquet of pink roses and a bar of bovetti dark chocolate with orange confits, he styled his newly dyed brown hair just the way Seokjin liked, he even applied some light makeup and wore his nicest suit, he wanted to look his best for their date and apparently so did Seokjin, the silk shirt and diamond choker he wore made him look like a prince and his hair pushed back made Namjoon’s heart skip a beat, the kids gushed about how pretty their daddy looked on the whole ride to Geon Min’s apartment downtown, when they dropped them off she insisted on taking a few pictures of them together, Namjoon appreciated her dedication to photography but they had a reservation and if they didn’t hurry they would miss it. they said goodbye to the kids and got back to the car, they were silent on their way there, Seokjin hummed along to the songs on the radio as Namjoon drove them to their destination, but as they got closer, the singing was replaced by Seokjin quiet giggles

“what?” Namjoon askes, amused as the giggles got progressively louder as they pulled over

“This is my restaurant” Seokjin laughed pointing at the venue outside his window “I can't believe you brought me to my own restaurant” Namjoon’s eyes widen and by now Seokjin’s windshield wiper laugh was filling the car, Namjoon not only wanted this night to be perfect but he also wanted it to be a surprise, so he hadn’t given Seokjin many details but now he thinks maybe he should’ve

“We can go somewhere else if you want” he mutters holding the gearshift a little tighter than necessary and looking down at his lap

“oh no, honey” Seokjin says clearing his throat, giggles finally dying out “you said you really wanted to try the food and we're here, so come on” he says rubbing the back of Namjoon’s neck gently, Namjoon isn’t entirely convinced, isn’t eating at your own restaurant a little lame? Never mind the quality of the restaurant but this this isn’t as special for him as Namjoon wanted it to be but Seokjin’s kind smile was enough to make him nod his head in agreement “I can get us a discount” he whispers teasingly

“baby, stop!” Namjoon laughs gently shoving him as Seokjin starts laughing once again “It's not my fault you happen to own all the best restaurants in the city”

“In the world I would say” Seokjin says fluttering his eyelashes before taking a hold of his hand “and this one is no exception, you'll like it I promise

Namjoon let Seokjin lead the way inside the restaurant as he oogled at the beautifully decorated venue, the shorter man went straight to the hosts podium “Hello Joseph”

“Chef” the host, a much shorter man dressed in a crisp white shirt greeted with a jerky bow “we weren't expecting you tonight…”

“We'll good to see you too” Seokjin said with a playful eye roll “Relax kid, I'm not here for a surprise inspection” he explains gesturing towards Namjoon who was still busy admiring the gothic-style space “I’m here as a costumer”

“Even worse” Joseph deadpans and Seokjin chuckles “you’re just here to terrorize the staff”

“actually, this is Namjoon Kim and he’s been hearing great things about this place so you better make it worth the hype” the chef tells the younger man as Namjoon walks up to them “Namjoon this is Joseph Lee”

“Nice to meet you Joseph, we spoke on the phone earlier, right?” Namjoon greets wrapping one arm around Seokjin’s waist and extending the other to shake Joseph’s hand

“That's right, Mister Kim, pleasure to meet you” the young man smiles “I assure you, neither of you will be disappointed” Namjoon can see a switch flipping in the man, going from familiar to professional in a matter of seconds as he grabs two menus and steps out of his booth “private table for two, right this way”

Surely Seokjin has seen this place a hundred times but he still smiles when he sees the secluded table the staff prepared for them, the room is filled with flowers and dimly light by the candle light, fancy wine bottle waiting for them along with two glasses, textbook romance right there. Joseph stands by as they make themselves comfortable, Namjoon pulls Seokjin’s chair for him and places a kiss on his forehead before takes his own seat, he can see Seokjin’s ears flushed red at the public display of affection, its adorable how the usually confident chef can flush at the smallest thing but Namjoon can’t help but to shower him in affection, Seokjin deserves to know that he is loved, cherished, wanted but he low-key also wants to make sure the world knows that this beautiful man is taken.

“may I recommend you order the chef’s tasting menu? Shyla will be offended if you don’t” Joseph says after handing them their menus 

“then I guess I’ll go with that” Seokjin laughs closing back the menu he had barely cracked open

“I don’t know what any of this means but okay” Namjoon says after scanning over the cursive text

“Wonderful” the younger man says taking back the two menus and backing away towards the door “please, enjoy your evening”

“thank you, Joseph”

“thanks Joe, tell Shyla I say hi” Seokjin winks 

“of course” he says giving a quick bow

“he was just a kid when he started working with us, he became one of the best host we’ve ever had” Seokjin explains with a fond smile after he closes the door behind himself “and Shyla, our chef, she’s incredible- we flew her in all the way from Kerala”

“so and Indian chef working at a French restaurant owned by a Korean chef” Namjoon says arching an eyebrow

“isn’t food amazing? It brings the world together” the chef smiles giddily 

“it is” he replies with a nod before looking around the room “You never mentioned this particular restaurant”

“Didn’t think you’d be interested in modern French cuisine” Seokjin shrugs easily 

“I could’ve been” Namjoon argues and his date laughs 

“A few months ago you though ‘chili cheese fries’ was fusion food” Seokjin says and Namjoon huffs 

“I still want to hear about it, I tell you about my music and you don’t even listen to the artists I work with”

“you’re right, I’m sorry” Seokjin says reaching for his hand across the table “Don’t pout…wait actually, you look really cute” Namjoon blinks a couple of times and Seokjin giggles “Pout away” when the younger man doesn’t replies, Seokjin sighs pulling away to fidget with his choker “well, this was one of my last projects before Jungkookie was born, I worked with Shyla to figure out the menu and the concept but ultimately gave her a lot of freedom, I don’t know something told me to trust her instinct, so this restaurant is a lot less me than others but it’s just as great”

“So… how many restaurants do you actually own?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin shrugs

“Seven”

“Seven?!”

“Here in America, I’ve invested in a few around the world and technically co-own a couple more but-”

“Wow” 

“what?”

“you’re amazing; you know?” Namjoon can’t help but to blurt out “I just can’t believe how incredibly talented you are”

“it has little to do with my talent or personal skills, there’s better chefs out there and they don’t get this type of success” Seokjin says straightening out the perfectly lined up silverware 

“You literally have a box full of awards” he points out only to see the other man shaking his head “Why are they on a box by the way?”

“Because I’m moving into your house soon, remember?” Seokjin says biting back a smile

“Ha-ha!” Namjoon’s fake laugh and ridiculous claps make Seokjin cackle, especially when his face goes blank immediately “I mean why weren’t they on display to begin with?”

“Because that would be embarrassing” Seokjin says scrunching his nose  
“We’re displaying them at the house” Namjoon informs him, he can already picture them adorning the family room walls “You should be proud of how much you’ve accomplished

“I could say the same thing about you”

“I just make music, sell it and some people like it” Namjoon says, he was proud of his work, he thinks he writes good lyrics and produces decent music but he’s partnership with Jackson allowed him to get this far, what fills him with pride is being able to provide a decent living for his family doing what he loves and now having the liberty to work on his own passion projects, like his upcoming album 

“People like the Recording Academy” Seokjin argues and now it’s Namjoon’s turn to shrug, while he’s grateful, getting a Grammy nomination for his LP wasn’t the best thing that happen to him last year by far, no, that was meeting Seokjin and the kids.

“It’s not the same baby, every time we go to one of your restaurants, it just blows me that all” Namjoon says, Seokjin is much more than a pretty face and he’ll never let him forget it “all the people that work for you-”

“Worked” Seokjin interjects  
“It’s still your Company-I mean you own a freaking company” Namjoon rambles, Seokjin has cut back his work hours indefinably, choosing to focus on the children but that doesn’t take away from his previous accomplishments “I’m trying to say you’re amazing”

“Well I didn’t do it by myself” Seokjin tells him reaching for the wine bottle and scanning over the label “I was just the name and the face but Jae Hwan was the brain, he built all of this. there were a lot of things I didn’t know about, that he didn’t tell me and I had to learn after I took over” he explains as he fills Namjoon’s cup and then his “At school I learned how to temper chocolate and debone a fish, not how to run a multimillion dollar company, I wouldn’t be able to handle it without Jin-young” 

“But none of this could’ve been created without you” Namjoon says lifting his cup up to his lips 

“yeah… He knew that” Seokjin says swirling the liquid inside his “that’s the only reason he stayed with me, sometimes he made me feel ungrateful, because I stopped being in love with him long before he passed and now I wonder if I ever was” Namjoon watches in silence, sometimes he wishes he could’ve spared Seokjin from the suffering caused by his previous relationship but that experience is what made him the person he is today, the person Namjoon fell in love with “I barely spoke any English when I came here and I didn’t know anyone but I started working from the moment I got here, I was in a kitchen every night and in a meeting room every morning and didn’t stop until Hoseok was born”

“do you miss it?” he asks and Seokjin takes a sip of his wine before answering

“sometimes, it was a whole different life it seems, my friends in the world are chefs but it’s hard to relate to them now” he explains, taking another sip “I suppose I remember it fondly, mostly forgot about the bad parts but I’m a lot happier with what I- we have now”

“I know what you mean, most people in the music industry live far from traditional lives” Namjoon comments and Seokjin sets down his cup

“It’s hard to believe that’s actually what you wanted for your life” he says casually but he knows that Seokjin still has his doubts from time to time 

“Believe me, it was” he replies confidently “I always wanted this, to settle down with someone I love, start a family, not necessarily in that order” Namjoon chuckles humorlessly “So when Yoongi’s mother told me she was pregnant I was a little hopeful, at first I thought we could make it work that we could learn to love each other but I quickly learned you can’t force feelings, I could’ve had my dream but it wasn’t her dream” Namjoon’s never talked about anyone so openly about his feelings, Seokjin just makes it easy somehow, because he feels like he should know about this, about his past about their son’s mother “She wanted to be the best lawyer in Seoul, not a parent. She- Soyeon wanted nothing to do with me or the baby she was carrying”

“Have you talked to her after Yoongi was born?” Seokjin asks 

“She called me the day Yoongi turned one” Namjoon recalls, the phone ringing mixed with Yoongi’s cries and the beat he was working on playing on his laptop “She called to tell me she was doing great, she was happy and she didn’t regret her decision at all- back then it was soul crushing but I’m happy for her now, because she got her dream” he says reaching with his palm up and Seokjin tangles their fingers together “and now I got mine”  
Their conversation resumed once the waiter that brought them their entrees left the room, Namjoon was about to take his first bite when Seokjin spoke up 

“I- I hope you know how much I love you and Yoongi” he says in a low voice “the two of you completed this picture of my perfect family I always had and I know- you always say there's no such as perfection and that it's just an unattainable standard we create for ourselves to justify or misery- yes I actually listen to your rambling when you get all philosophical" his partner rambled "but what I mean it's that it's perfect for me- it's the family I want and need and always dreamed of… anyways, I love you"

"I love you more" Namjoon smiled wide and unashamed 

"impossible” Seokjin mumbled with a shy smile “can we eat now? Temperature is an important aspect of this particular dish"

"of course"

Dinner had been going great, the food, though hard to pronounce was easy to enjoy, the topics of conversations changed many times but they always went back to the kids, they were discussing the room situation once they moved, they’ve decided to use the area designated for an office on their wing of the house as a nursery for Jungkook because of its short distance from the master room would be convenient on those nights when their youngest woke up in the middle of the night, they were not deciding where and how to place the older kids , Hoseok had been asking to room with Yoongi for a while now and the older boy wasn’t opposed to the idea but Seokjin wasn’t at all sold on the idea "I don't think they should share a room, they like having sleepovers but they're both used to having their own rooms" he says finishing his second glass of wine “I think Yoongi should have his own room, he's the oldest and he's been an only child his whole life so he's not used to sharing everything, he should have his own space and privacy” he says setting down the empty glass for Namjoon to fill it up “I don't want him to get overwhelmed by the younger boys”

“You've been reading on how to care for an introverted child?” Namjoon asks gladly obeying, he cut himself off after the first glass since he’s the one driving but this bottle was expensive so they might as well finish it, tipsy Seokjin is a sight he rarely gets to enjoy  
“I was an introverted child” the man says gladly accepting his filled glass “and now I have a house full of introverts”

“Hoseok, Jiminie and Taehyungie definitely are” Namjoon muses “It's too early to tell with Jungkookie but I have a feeling he'll be an introvert so he might want to have his own room” 

“Yeah, you're right” Seokjin blinks spacing out 

"What about Jimin and Taehyung?” Namjoon asks recapturing his attention

"they're happy sharing a room now, maybe when they're older and start getting sick of each other we can split the up" he replies gesturing with his hand 

“Sometimes I wish they'd stay little forever” Namjoon says with a sigh “but at the same time I'm excited to watch them grow, I wasn't there from beginning but I want to be there in the future”

“Even if we break up?” Seokjin asks, his slightly glassy eyes piercing into Namjoon’s 

“Baby-”

I really think we should talk about this, I'm not saying it will happen, I hope it doesn't but it's always a possibility and that breakup wouldn't just affect us” he rushes to add “It would affect the kids”

“Yeah” Namjoon nods, taking a second to think “we can't keep them away from each other, we already saw how bad that was for them. Okay so, worst case scenario, we break up and things go sour between us but I'd hope that we're both mature enough to not let it affect our relationship with the kids or their relationship with each other” he says and Seokjin stares, eyes growing moist by the second “We could work something out, we could make it work, we love the kids enough to do it”

“I know I said we should talk about this but I'm honestly about to cry right now” Seokjin croaks blinking away the moisture on his eyes 

“Oh baby” Namjoon scoots his chair closer to rub his shoulder comfortingly “Do you want to get dessert?

“Can we get bubble tea instead and go for a walk?” Seokjin asks between sniffles 

“Sure” Namjoon smiles, after paying their check, they and make their way to the exit hand in hand, passing by Joseph’s post 

“Shyla wants to see you but she’s also having a mental breakdown in the walk in fridge

“Fine, I’ll go see her” Seokjin chuckles before turning to look at Namjoon “I’ll be right back”

“I’ll get the car” the talker man says letting go of his hand, he watches him leave for a moment before Joseph clears his throat 

“Sir- um mister Kim” the younger man says, with the excitement shinning in his eyes Namjoon can now see how young he really is “I wanted to say, I’m a big fan of your music”

“Oh thanks” Namjoon replies, slightly taken aback by the admiration in his eyes

“I’m really excited about your new album” the kid did a good job hiding it to keep up the air professionalism before

“Well, it’ll be out soon I’ll be sure to send you a signed copy” the older man promises bringing an unrestricted out of Joseph

“Really? Wow-” he gushes before clearing his throat and regaining his composure “Thank you sir, I would really appreciate it”

“no problem, thanks for tonight” Namjoon nods 

“no, thank you- for making the chef so happy” the host says

“It goes both ways” the producer smiles

“Namjoon-ah” Seokjin calls and he whips his head around in his direction 

“I decided to wait for you” he explains as partner comes back to his side 

“it was good seeing you kid” Seokjin says taking one last look at Joseph

“you too chef”

“can you pull over there?” Seokjin says pointing out the window excitedly, Namjoon chuckles as he parks the car, they’d stopped at a cute little bubble tea shop on their way here, Seokjin insisted on taking a walk on a nearby park. As soon as the car stops Seokjin goes to open the door but Namjoon stops him 

“maybe don’t wear your choker out?” he suggests and Seokjin’s eyes widen

“oh, right” he chuckles removing the piece of jewelry from his neck and the matching broche from his shirt and carefully placing them in the glove compartment, Namjoon opens the door for him and closes it for him after he steps out, immediately, the shorter man attaches himself to his side as they make their way through the marked trails.  
Stopping from time to time to look at the different plants and trees that decorate the park 

“I was thinking about starting a vegetable garden at home” Seokjin comments as he chews on a Boba pearl 

“Do you know how to do that?” Namjoon asks 

"I worked at my uncle's strawberry farm a couple of summers growing up" he offers as an explanation

“What did you do there?”

“Whatever he needed me to- I even chased and caught the chicken for the dak gomtang,  
I think my parents just wanted a way to get rid of me for the summer but I was actually fun, uncle taught me a lot of things” Seokjin elaborates and Namjoon nods 

“now that you've conquered the restaurant business could to start your own strawberry farm” he says making the other man chuckles

“Put you and the kids to work” Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows 

“I can't barely keep my bonsais alive” Namjoon laughs throwing his arm around Seokjin’s wide shoulders “but I think it's a great idea, the vegetables garden, not your idea to use us as free labor”  
“we have to keep those kids busy somehow” Seokjin jokes and Namjoon lets out a cackle “are we signing up them for classes this summer? I don't want them to get bored” 

“I think Yoongi is ready for piano lessons” Namjoon nods in agreement as they make their way to a little bench “Hobi and Jimin want to take dance classes”

“and Taehyungie said he wanted art lessons” Seokjin reminds him and he grins before taking a seat

“And we could sign Jungkookie for music classes” he says and Seokjin groans, tired of hearing about the potential their youngest has 

“Namjoon-” ‘all babies like music’ he’s about to say, Namjoon is sure but so he doesn’t give him a chance to continue

“Baby, I'm telling you--that child has a good ear” he says pulling Seokjin down to sit on the bench next to him

“If you say so, I don't know anything about music” Seokjin shakes his head 

“And yet you sing like an angel” Namjoon grins and gets one of Seokjin’s signature embarrassed pouts

“I do not” 

“Better than me” he argues

“Anyone can sing better than you” Seokjin mumbles before taking a long sip

“hey!” Namjoon protests 

“this is good” he says instead of apologizing, because, of course “it is, fancy food its great but the portion sizes are ridiculous” he comments shaking his cup “I was still a little hungry”

“I knew you’d be happier with the extra-large” Namjoon comments and Seokjin chokes with laughter 

“are you okay?” he asks concerned, handing him a napkin “what- why are you laughing? Oh… Seokjin-ah!” his eyes go wide in realization 

“I didn’t say anything” Seokjin laughs even louder at the scandalized look on Namjoon’s face  
“you didn’t have to” he says trying his hardest not to laugh but Seokjin’s flushed face and scrunched cheeks accompanied by his signature laugh is enough to break him right as he is taking a sip of his drink

“shouldn’t I be laughing?” Seokjin questions and Namjoon snorts

“I’m spitting out tea, stop!” Namjoon says turning away from the other man as they dissolve into an uncontrollable fit of giggles 

“I’m sorry” Seokjin cries, laughing hysterically and gasping for air “I’m sorry”

“okay, okay it’s not funny anymore not funny at all” Namjoon says and spends a while trying to convince himself

“it’s not funny to me either” Seokjin says, voice cracking 

“I’m immune to it” Namjoon says wiping his mouth with a napkin before turning back to Seokjin

“I agree” the other man says with a serious face before the two explode back into laughter and yes, they get weird looks, their carefully applied makeup is a mess from all the tears, their tummies hurt from all the laughter and the next day during the move their heads hurt from too much wine and sugar but Namjoon wouldn’t have it any other way, it was the perfect date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don’t really know what is going on in that last part, much like in the legendary Namjin vlive but I felt like I had to include that type of scene, being dorks together is a huge part of their relationship.  
> (Also thanks for reading, commenting and for the kudos, you guys are the nicest)  
> Please take care, love yall 💜


	4. Find my time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was heavily inspired by the first episode of the second season of “ugly delicious”, one of my favorite shows ever.

Seokjin had made himself comfortable at his new home, more specifically his new kitchen, this one was much larger than his previous one and the layout was perfection, he could be cooking and baking, hosting a dinner party and still keep an eye on the kids, like the rest of the house, it was open and spacious. With Namjoon’s newly found affinity for interior design it was slowly becoming their dream home. The master bedroom was a safe haven for them, they had a whole wing to themselves with a giant closet, a spacious bathroom and a small office and sitting space included, that for the time being served as Jungkookie's nursery.

There were still some things left to unpack, a few details to work out, empty or awkward spaces that they needed to figure out how to use, besides Namjoon had promised the kids they could decorate their rooms to their liking and now he had to talk Hoseok out of painting his bedroom walls bright green and convince Jimin and Taehyung to not get rid of the bed that still remained unused.

But by now they were pretty much settled into the new lives, the boys loved their new home and being together all the time though they bickered here and there but not more so than any normal siblings would, taking care of them was a lot easier now with Namjoon there to help him most of the time, even when he was neck deep into his work, the younger man still made time to spend with his family. He would only cook dinner a couple of times a week but he would always insist on washing the dishes on the days when Seokjin did the cooking but definitely their favorite night was Saturday when they got to cook dinner together.

Today was Friday and Seokjin was meal planning and his making his grocery list for the week, he'd checked the fridge and was now mostly done with the pantry, making sure he had enough to feed his family of seven was his priority, Namjoon loved taking Hoseok and Yoongi to the store with him but this week as Namjoon was working on the finishing touches of his album, Seokjin would be doing the shopping. He doubled checked his list before he walked back into the kitchen, stopping when he spots a man standing in the middle of the room "Jackson Wang, what are you doing in my kitchen?"

“I was just getting some water” the blonde man says lifting his glass of water, Seokjin hums and walks around him to check his timer “making snacks for the kids?”

“blueberry muffins” Seokjin says opening the oven and grabbing his pink oven mitts “would you like some?”

“ah, no its okay hyung thanks” he hears Jackson says as he takes out the muffin tray

“wait- you’re rejecting my food?” placing them on the cooling rack by the window to check if they’re cooked “are you okay?”

“yes?” the younger man says unsure, Seokjin narrows his eyes at him before going to turn off the oven “I mean yes, I just need some advice I guess- I mean I could Namjoon but”

“sit” he says pointing towards the stools on the other side of the kitchen island, Jackson sits down and fidgets on his seat as Seokjin fills the kettle with water and puts it on the stove to boil, then leans over the counter across from Jackson “okay… so?”

“so…” the man blinks a couple of times before scratching the back of his neck “I really want kids”

“well, you can’t have mine” Seokjin replies without missing a beat and Jackson groans

“hyung”

“but I can give the contact of the agency I used and refer you to a great lawyer” Seokjin smiles fondly, as much as he’s grown to love Jackson, he can’t help but to tease the younger man “unless you’re going for surrogacy in that case-”

“it doesn’t really matter to me” his partner’s best friend says “I just really want a child”

“that’s really sweet” Seokjin smiles resting his cheek on his fist “I didn’t think you guys had planned to have one so soon”

“that’s the thing- we didn’t…”

“Jackson” Seokjin cuts him off straightening up “have you talked to Jinyoung about this?”

“no…”

“you two got married without discussing if you guys wanted kids?” the older man asks scandalized

“we did talk about it and we both agreed we wanted them one day, when we felt ready and that day seemed so far away” Jackson says standing up and pacing back and forth as he rants “but it’s here for me now and I know we’ve only been married for a few months but I know these things can take time so I don’t want to wait too long”

“you need to talk to your husband” Seokjin shakes his head “tell him how you feel”

“but with everything Jinyoung has going on, I’m not sure he’ll be up for it” Jackson argues as the kettle starts to boil “not right now at least”

“you don’t know” Seokjin says turning off the stove and going to fetch his favorite tea set “he might say yes and the worst answer you’ll get will be a not yet”

“when did you know you were ready to have kids?” Jackson asks, watching him as he meticulous prepares the tea

“well, that was always my plan” Seokjin says, placing the lid over the tiny teapot and taking a seat to wait for the tea to brew “I wanted kids and that was one of the main reasons I got married but I knew that raising them would be up to me so I had to learn how to balance work and family for the first time in my life” Jackson takes the stool next to him and listens carefully to every word “when Hobi was born, at that point in my career I had already entrusted most of the head chefs to my older restaurants so I wasn’t doing restaurant hours anymore but I would bring him to work with me all the time, because at the time I was opening a new restaurant, working on a book and hosting a cooking competition show”

“How did you do what you do and then figure out time to have a family? The younger man asks and Seokjin chuckles dryly shaking his head, as Jackson pours him a cup of tea before he fills his own

“So every day I would wake up feed my baby, change his diaper, take a shower, head for the studio to get my hair and makeup done, recorded my segments while Hoseokie napped in my dressing room, then I would go home feed him again, workout and go to the company to attend meetings with my child asleep in my arms or crawling around my office, after that I would go supervise work at the new restaurant, feed him again and meet with the head chefs and then I would go home gave him a bath put him to bed and continued working on my book” Seokjin says taking a long sip of his tea “so, it wasn’t easy”

“holy-” Jackson shut his mouth immediately after seeing the look the other man was sending him, cursing wasn't allowed in the house and Seokjin’s curse jar was mostly filled with Jackson's dollars "…cow" he laughs nervously before taking a deep breath "I was getting stressed just hearing about it"

"stopping wasn’t an option back then, I was going to continue doing what I did and I was going to make it work" Seokjin tells him looking down at his cup "I chose to have him, them. So I chose to dedicate my time to raising them and yes I had to make a few sacrifices but I think I gained a lot more than I lost"

"and you didn't stop at one" Jackson says smiling down at his cup and the older man shrugs

"honestly moment I held my child, it was the first day of the rest of my life, I knew that every decision I made from then on was were related to how it would affect him" Seokjin explains "And I wanted Hoseok to have siblings, to have happy memories from his childhood, to have memories of me" the younger man nods and sets down his cup “So maybe think about what matters the most to you right now, would you be willing to be stay at home dad while Jinyoung works?"

"uh... I don't think so" he admits gazing down at his hands

"and you wouldn't ask Jinyoung to quit his job to take care of the kid just because you want to focus on your career, right?" Seokjin prods

"no..."

"you'll have plenty of time, Jackson-ah" the chef smiles pouring Jackson more tea "enjoy your honeymoon phase, the married life and continue doing all the amazing things you do and once you're ready you can start your family"

“I would've love for our kids to be friends and grow up together... " the usually rambunctious man says in a low tone

“they can still be friends” Seokjin chuckles softly “and I could babysit, I would love having a little around after mine get older”

"Where are they by the way?" Jackson says trying to conceal his watery eyes

“The little ones are napping and Yoongi is having quiet time” the older man says pretending not to notice

“You make him have quiet time?” and just like that the usual Jackson is back

“He loves it” Seokjin argues

“I doubt it, I bet he would much prefer to spend time with his favorite uncle” the man says standing up

“Go on and try to interrupt his quiet time” Seokjin says as the man heads for the playroom “he’ll kick you out of the playroom in no time!”

“We’ll see about that!” Jackson calls from the door and the father decides is best to follow after him “Hey Yoongi, my boy”

“Hi, uncle” Yoongi blinks up at them from where he’s sitting on the floor next to their toy kitchen set with bowls and cups scattered around, his little notebook clutched in his arms

“Uncle is here to play with you” he says walking into the room, Seokjin stays by the door watching their interaction “What are you up to?”

“I’m cooking” the boy answers quietly

“How about we play chef? I’ll be your chef Jin and you can be my sous chef” Jackson extends his hand towards the boy

“sauce what?” Yoongi asks not yet accepting Jackson’s hand

“my helper” the adult explains

“Do I have to?” eyes shifting from Jackson to his dad, Seokjin shrugs and gives him a soft smile

“Come on, it’s going to be fun” the boy’s uncle insists

“fine” Yoongi eventually replies without even a fraction of his enthusiasm

“so what are we making, today?” Jackson ends up sitting next to the boy and Seokjin takes that as his cue to leave but he can hear them on his way back to the kitchen

“I thought you were the chef”

“right” Jackson laughs “tonight we’ll be making ridiculously tiny overpriced muffins, how about that?”

“as long as you’re happy …”

Seokjin chuckles fondly at the two, he knows Yoongi loves Jackson but the two are complete opposites and sometimes it’s hard to tell who the actual five-year-old is, regardless if Jackson wants children anytime soon, practice might come in handy, so he leaves them to play and pulls out his laptop and goes back to fishing the rest of his tea. He gets so immersed on the text he’s typing that he doesn’t hear Namjoon walking into the house through the back door and make his way into the kitchen until he was right behind him wrapping his arms around his waist

“Hey” Seokjin startled when he felt Namjoon kiss his neck, flailing his arms around and nearly knocking over his laptop "whoa!”

“Namjoon-ah! You scared me” he says clutching his chest and turning around in his seat

“Sorry baby” Namjoon replied between laughs, blocking Seokjin from standing up" What are up to?"

" Just answering some emails" the shorter man answers, feeling his ears burn with embarrassment but not from getting started but from Namjoon's intense gaze “taking a break?” he asks as his partner takes his hand on his and brings it closer to his lips

“I think I’m actually done for the day” Namjoon says kissing his hand before giving him a sly smile “and I’m actually a little hungry”

"huh" Seokjin huffs pulling his hand away and turning back to his laptop, choosing to ignore the other man's advances with the kids and Jackson in the house “I have muffins in the oven" but Namjoon is persistent, he wraps his strong arms around him once again and pulls him closer to his body

"baby..."

"go get Jackson and Yoongi and you guys can have some muffins and tea" in that instant he feels Namjoon’s arms drop

“Jackson?” the younger man groans and Seokjin bites back a smile “I thought he’d left already”

"Uh no, he's playing with Yoongi" he replies and hears Namjoon unrestrained laugh

"You have to see this"

"What?" he asks confused, as his partner gestures for him to follow

"whenever those two play together one of them ends up crying" Namjoon murmurs taking his hand and dragging him to the playroom

"It better not be my baby" Seokjin huffs as they stop by the cracked door

“no! you need to go like this-” Yoongi grits out gesturing with his tiny hands and Jackson blinks dumbly at him “shift the flower!”

“oh- sift the flour” Jackson exclaims in realization as the boy sighs

“yes!” Yoongi now points to the bigger purple bowl and hands Jackson a smaller pink cup “pour this, into here”

“but this one’s nicer” Jackson says putting the pink container aside on the small table they’re both sitting in

“then it’s not a muffin, it’s a cake” Yoongi says stomping his small socked feet as Jackson head for the toy kitchen and opens the oven “no, uncle no!”

“and he’s gone” Jackson says closing the oven as the five-year-old sprints out of the room “Yoongi come back here!” 

“daddy!” the boy calls as he runs into his father’s waiting arms

“Jackson” Namjoon says in a tired tone

“I’m the chef and I’m just trying to keep order in my kitchen” Jackson explains with a grin

“Jackson, stop tormenting my son” Seokjin says narrowing his eyes at the man as Yoongi snuggles closer to his chest

“okay, okay I’m sorry” Jackson says raising his hands defensively “hey Yoongi, do you want to play a different game?”

“I’ll keep on playing but you gotta make a muffin the real way” the boy says playing with the collar of Seokjin’s t-shirt

“How about we put the game on hold and go get a snack?” Seokjin offers instead before kissing the top of Yoongi’s head “I made your favorite muffins sweetheart”

“Yes!” the boy exclaims, gummy grin expanding on his face as he looks up at his dad

“I'll go wake up the little ones” Namjoon offers ruffling his son’s head before leaving the room

“can I have some too?” Jackson asks still sitting on the kid size table

“of course” Seokjin laughs waving him over with his free hand

Once the younger ones are awake and strapped on their booster seats, Seokjin hands the younger kids their sippy cups, cutting their muffins into bite size pieces while Namjoon gives Yoongi and Hoseok their zootopia cups and removes the paper liners from the muffins for them, Jackson watches in silence as the two move around the table in perfect sync before finally taking a seat

“see? Muffins are tiny like this” Yoongi grumbles lifting his muffin to his mouth

“yeah, I know that now” Jackson said sticking out his tongue, the twins and Hoseok thought it was hilarious, giggling loudly as their older brother scrunched his nose at the adult

“funny uncle” Taehyung says, twisting in his chair so he could face Jackson mimicking the funny faces he was now making, Jimin tries to climb out of his chair to imitate his brother 

“Jiminie, that’s not how we sit on a chair” Namjoon tells him as he cleans Jungkook’s face

“yeah Jiminie, put your little butt on the chair” Jackson ties to help causing the kids to burst into giggles, not even the usually serious Yoongi can fight his laugh

“he said butt” Hoseok claps, laughing as if it was the funniest joke in world

“appa, he said butt” Taehyung can barely breath, cheeks rising like soft bread dough

“yes I heard him” Namjoon sighs, so obviously done “can you please sit down?”

“on my butt?” Jimin asks bending forwards as he laughs so hard Seokjin fears he might fall if he wasn’t strapped into his chair

“and stop saying butt” Namjoon grumbles directing his annoyance specifically at Jackson

“butt why?” the man says and the kids once again explode into laughs and Seokjin can’t help but to join in

“Jackson…” Namjoon whines but chuckles along with the them

“sorry man”

* * *

That night when he’s already in bed he receives a call from his friend. Jinyoung never calls him this late unless is urgent, so Seokjin gets off bed with his phone in his head despite Namjoon’s protests, he’ll have to make it up to him somehow, to answer the call. They agree to meet the next day for brunch and Namjoon offers to watch the kids for a while, Seokjin definitely will have to make it up to him tonight.

“it's nice having brunch just the two of us but I also really miss the kids" Jinyoung says cutting into his French toast, a lot calmer than the night before, when he called in a panic seeking Seokjin’s advice.

"and they miss you, you don't come around as often" Seokjin smiles before taking a bite of his omelet, his friend puts down his fork and frowns

"hyung, I know it's just that with work and Jackson and the-"

"Jinyoung-ah, I know" Seokjin waves his hand and Jinyoung sighs reaching for his mimosa "you have a lot going on, I understand but are you happy? With your new job I mean. I don't want you to feel like you owe this to me, if you don't like it I can find someone else or maybe I could go back to the company-"

“Hyung, I absolutely love it” the younger man smiles sincerely and Seokjin nods

“You work like a crazy person, in the best possible sense” the chef comments as he watches his omelet carefully, a little too overcooked for his taste but then again they wanted to give this new restaurant a chance, at least the decoration is nice, he shrugs and looks back at the man before him “You work a lot like me back when I was still in the kitchen, burning the candle at both ends it’s no healthy”

“I’m trying to be smart about how emotionally invested I am; I know work shouldn’t be my whole life” Jinyoung explains as Seokjin chews on his food “But you know this is what I studied for and it's been my dream for the longest time… although if you wanted to come back- I would love working with you once again" the chef nearly chokes in his food

"maybe after the twins start preschool…" he shrugs noncommittedly; the reality is he has no intentions of going back to working full time any time soon

"and when they do, you'll make me wait until Jungkookie starts it" Jinyoung says with a playful roll of his eyes he thinks he knows him so well

"yah!"

"and then you'll say you'll do it after you and Namjoon are married" the other man laughs and Seokjin nearly chokes on his hot chocolate

"whoa! it’s a little too soon for that" he says shaking his head

“is it?” Jinyoung has the gall to raise a questioning eyebrow at him “you guys live together, raise your kids together and share the same last name-”

“we’re not here to talk about me, mister” Seokjin points an accusing finger at him “you said you wanted to talk”

“oh yeah…” the man deflates “it obviously has nothing to do with work- except it kind of does…Jackson told me talked to you”

“I was just trying to help” Seokjin says in his defense “I didn’t mean to meddle that’s why I told him he should talk to you first but when does he ever listen to me?”

“hyung, it’s okay” Jinyoung smiles softly “you were right, we talked and we agreed that we’re not ready yet”

“oh”

“I thought you'd be the one person telling him it's a good idea” his friend questions and Seokjin shakes his head

“Oh no” he laughs “I mean I love my babies but being a parent is hard as hell, if you’re not ready, you’re not ready”

“my first thought when Jackson brought it up was ‘How would it affect my career?’” his friends confesses “If I were to have kids right now, there’s still so much I want to accomplish… but you did that, while rising four kids and growing a business”

“don’t compare yourself to me. we’re different people, our situations are completely different” Seokjin tells him, reaching for his forearm

“I don’t know, what if I’m never ready? What if I’m too selfish to do it?” Jinyoung asks looking down at his hand for a moment before putting his on top

“I don’t know Jinyoungie, I don’t know” Seokjin squeezes lightly “all I can tell you is that you’re not selfish at all and neither is Jackson, he’ll support you no matter what” Jinyoung nods but stays silent for a moment until he squeezes his forearm again

“You guys should get a puppy” he smiles and Jinyoung laughs “Puppies are a lot easier, believe me”

“Maybe we will” his younger friend says, finally moving to dig into his meal.

They don’t talk about it more after that, they mostly focus on eating and catching up and talking about anything but work for a change, they have a great time but Seokjin knows he can’t leave Namjoon alone with the kids for too long, he could handle it of course but they try to spend most of their time during the weekends together, so he heads home and Seokjin hopes that the younger couple takes his advice, that they talk and figure out the whole situation. In the end is a decision the two have to make together and understand that they have all the time in the world to decide, regardless of what they decide, Seokjin is grateful to have the two men as his son’s uncles.

When Seokjin walks through the door, he’s greeted by the sounds of crying. He takes off his shoes and leaves his keys and bag on the foyer table before closing the front door to finally alert every one of their arrival “Why is my Taehyungie crying?” he calls as he walks into the family room, Namjoon is sitting on the sectional sofa cradling their son in his arms

“Daddy” his second youngest cries stretching his arms towards him and stepping on Namjoon as he tries to reach him

“oh come here honey” he says easily lifting the boy over the backrest

“I need to look at you” Taehyung says cupping his face with his small sticky hands

"alright..." Seokjin says trying to look at Namjoon for answers, the man had turned around on to look up at them

“He said he was ‘forgetting what daddy looked like’" his partner explains including air quotes before he lays back on the couch and closes his eyes, Seokjin smiles as he walks around the couch and sits next to where Namjoon has laid his head. He runs his fingers through Namjoon’s recently dyed hair, deciding that this tone of light brown is his favorite on him so far and he waits until Taehyung calms down, after staring at him with his big beautiful eyes for a while until his long lashes start to flutter as they close as he falls asleep against his chest

“He's an intense kid” he whispers thinking he’s the only one awake

“Passionate I would say” Namjoon argues opening his eyes once again

“Anything else happed while I was gone?” Seokjin asks, pulling back his hand as Namjoon sits up next to him

“nothing too crazy” the taller man yawns before shrugging “Hobi and Kookie almost fought over a banana, Yoongi didn't finish his lunch and Jiminie got mad at me for giving him banana milk”

“He only likes strawberry” Seokjin explains and Namjoon blinks blaringly at him

“Oh” he stays quiet, Seokjin knows Namjoon tends to be too hard on himself when it comes to his parenting, so he leans his head on his shoulder

“Thank you for watching them today” he says smiling up at him

“Of course” Namjoon smiles back throwing his arm around him “Sorry I'm not as good as you”

“Stop, you're amazing” Seokjin says gently hitting his thigh

“I can't even get them to eat when you're not here” Namjoon grumbles, chin sticking out and looking more adorable than he has the right to

“Kids are tricky, you have to treat each one as their own person, like you don't eat seafood and I don't eat chicken breast” Seokjin pauses to let out a yawn “there are things they like and dislike, they just don't know how to voice it yet and it changes every day”

“Tell me about it, I still remember when Yoongi wouldn't eat anything but rice” Namjoon groans rubbing his face

“Hobi did the same thing” Seokjin nods before he scoffs “You know what it’s like for a chef to have a kid that won’t eat your food? It wasn’t simple enough for them”

“Life turns a lot more complicated when they switch to solid foods” the other man says solemnly making Seokjin chuckle “I miss the jarred baby food days”

"those were so gross" the chef scrunches his nose at the memory, happy that all of his kids were finally eating actual food

"of course you made homemade baby food, as expected" Namjoon exclaims on a teasing tone, Seokjin laugh freely knowing that Taehyung will remain asleep as long as he’s clinging onto someone

“Let me tell you a little secret” Seokjin whispers after the laughter dies down, leaning closer to Namjoon for dramatic effect “in my restaurants, there were people that would come to work just to gain experience, I would tell them to make a really nice carrot or bright green zucchini puree and to pass it twice through a really fine sieve, put them in silicon molds and once they’re frozen arrange them in Ziploc bags and bring them to me, they’d say ‘yes chef’ no questions asked”

“And they were making baby food?” Namjoon says shocked, sometimes the man is too nice for his own good, the purest person alive

“Raising a baby is hard” Seokjin says in his defense and Namjoon sighs

“It takes a village to raise a child” the man says snuggling closer, Seokjin feels sleepiness coming over his body enjoying the warmness of that surrounds him, he closes his eyes and figures that a little nap before dinner wouldn’t hurt, he can allow himself to rest when he has Namjoon here to help.

“It really does”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this plotless mess, love you all.


	5. Live to a love

Jungkook was an easy baby, he eats just about everything, veggies and fruits are no problem for their littlest one, although he's not really potty trained yet, he always lets you know when he needs a diaper change, he's also a big fan of baths, already obsessed with the smell of the organic hair products, soaps and lotions that Seokjin buys for every one and most importantly, he adores his hyungs and parents, everyone gets at least one Jungkookie hugs a day plus many wet kisses from his pouty little mouth but Jungkook is quickly leaving his baby days behind him and venturing into his toddler years and with that came a slew of changes.

Jungkook was an awesome sleeper but now he's up several times a night and needs a lot of help to fall back asleep. This is why chose to put his crib in their room instead of giving him his own, he's been like this for a couple of weeks and Namjoon was worried and if wasn’t for Seokjin's reassure he would've taken the boy to the doctor after the first night because hearing Jungkookie cry made Namjoon’s heart ache but Seokjin reassured him that it was a combination of teething and sleep regression what caused the little one's sleeplessness.

Namjoon had dealt with teething before of course, it scared the hell out of him when Yoongi refused to eat any solid food and began to rapidly lose weight, that was the begging of his picky eating phase, on the other hand, sleep regression is completely new for him.

Luckily Jungkook still ate very well but he didn't sleep, Seokjin reassured him that it was completely normal and temporary but Namjoon feared that maybe this is his new indie toddler approach to life.

Usually, Namjoon’s back rubs and gentle rocking on his nursery chair or Seokjin's soothing voice singing him lullabies will get the little one to fall asleep but tonight, as he made his way into the master bedroom a little past midnight he was greeted with his son's cries

"appa!" the child squealed in Seokjin's arms, his cries stop all of a sudden and stretching his arms in his direction “appa, play!”

"yeah, that's appa" Seokjin sighs, his crumpled pajamas an indication that he’d been just recently awaken by their son "and he's very tired because it's way past bedtime" he tells the boy as Namjoon approaches, Seokjin is an early riser much like Namjoon usually is when he’s not working on an important project

"sorry" Namjoon says kissing Seokjin's cheek and taking the child into his arms, he loses track of time when he’s working on his new album so much so that Seokjin is usually asleep by the time he’s done for the night "you should go to bed, I'll deal with this little owl"

"aren't you tired?" Seokjin asks and he shrugs in response

"I'm okay, I had way too much coffee" he replies, truth is Namjoon called it quits for the day due to a lack of inspiration but he’s nowhere near as tired as Seokjin seems "we'll just hang out, right JK?" he bounces the boy on his hip a couple of making him giggle cheerily

“I'm cutting you off tomorrow, you’ve been sleeping so little and drinking so much coffee” Seokjin says rubbing his tired eyes 

“you know I work better at night” Namjoon says putting a hand on Seokjin’s waist “and it’s not like I can sleep in all day-”

“you could-” the older man argues crossing his arms

“I can't leave just you alone with the kids while I sleep because I stayed up working too late” Namjoon frowns shaking his head “That's not the type of parent I want to be”

“that’s not what I’m saying-” Seokjin sighs moving away and walking towards the bed

“You guys are my priority-” Namjoon follows and stands by the foot of the bed

“Your health should be your priority” Seokjin says pulling the covers back and making the unnecessarily straight “and you don't have to worry about taking care of me”

“Seokjin…”

“you can’t do it all Namjoon” Seokjin doesn’t really snaps but the change in his tone lets Namjoon know that if he keeps pushing it he’s going to get an earful from his partner, the first time they argued Namjoon was surprised by the fact that angry Seokjin can talk as fast as he can rap.

"appa!" Jungkook whines tugging at his shirt

“I’m going to bed” Seokjin mumbles undoing the covers that he had so neatly arranged to get under them

“alright” Namjoon says heading for the door, If the other man wasn’t so obviously tired he would try to make emends and maybe talk things trough but for now he decides to leave it at that, let Seokjin finally rest.

“daddy?” Jungkook asks, reaching towards the bedroom door as Namjoon is closing it

“Daddy and hyungs are asleep” Namjoon hushes him as they walk down the hall towards the stairs

"no sleep" the child pouts and Namjoon huffs out a laugh

"What is going on in that little brain of yours?" he asks but Jungkook only giggles before he starts mumbling a nursery rhyme and gesturing with his hands, no trace of sleepiness in sight. They make it downstairs and Namjoon heads to the family room but Jungkook whines as they walk past the kitchen "want milk"

"of course" Namjoon snorts, sugary midnight snacks will and no sleep great combination for a growing child

"appa" Jungkook starts to get fuzzy when they don’t stop by the kitchen "nana milk" Namjoon stops and looks around making sure there’s no one there to witness him fall apart under at the blink of two big brown eyes

"ask nicely, say please" he says, because maybe he can’t say no to Jungkook’s puppy eyes but he can at least teach him manners

"please" the boy squeaks and Namjoon heads for the kitchen, just like that

"alright" he says setting him down on the counter, another transgression to Seokjin’s rule, but Jungkook is already awake way past his bedtime, having sugar after their stablished hour and being carried more than necessary, breaking one more rule won’t be the end of the world "so I'm working on this song and" he starts as a mean to fill up the silence as he opens the fridge and grabs two bottles of banana milk "I really like the track but I the lyrics don't really fit the sound" he closes the fridge and inserts the straw before handing it to the boy, who takes it gladly and mumbles a ‘thank you’ "lately all I can write about is love" he continues after taking a sip of his own bottle, not realizing that he had switch to English in the middle of his rant

"saram?" the boy asks, Jungkook understand English but he’s been more exposed to Korean so far

“sarang" he corrects the boy and hums as his mind starts to run after realizing how similar the two words sound "saram" Jungkook grins and continues to chugging his milk as his father thinks "hang on, I like the sound of that- person, love, live and love" Namjoon says getting exited, he picks up the boy and they head to his studio "come here, you're helping appa write a song"

Their boys all love Namjoon’s studio and Jungkook is no exception, though they’re rarely allowed in. Namjoon had learned after a few apple juice spillages from Yoongi that expensive equipment and toddler don’t mix well with liquids so he lets Jungkook finish his milk before they go inside the room. Right away he asks to be set down on the ground and heads for the shelfs where Namjoon keeps his bonsai collection “baby trees!”

As he sits back on his chair he reminisces of sleepless nights cramped inside his bedroom at his mother's house, that room was smaller than his current studio, surprisingly he still managed to fit all his equipment, his bed, a crib and all of his belongings in there, but honestly they didn’t really have much to begin with, it was just Yoongi and him trying to make music with a crying child in his arms.

It's hard to believe that a few years ago Yoongi was this size- well, maybe a little smaller, Jungkook is one chunky boy, either way, it's hard to believe that Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung were once his age. They're all grown up now, their two oldest will start kindergarten and the twins will go to preschool soon and now they're maknae is no longer a baby.

"appa!" Jungkook screeches, because that's something he recently found out he enjoys doing

"yes, son?" responds calmly as the little one toddles towards him

"want" Jungkook points towards the shelf on the corner of the studio with one hand and resting the other on his father’s knee for support as he bounces on his feet

"How about you sit here with me for a moment?" Namjoon asks and Jungkook tries to make a run for it

"no!" he squeals when Namjoon catches him and sets him on his lap "baby trees"

"here, you can watch videos while appa works" the man says pulling out his phone and handing it to the child, which admittedly, isn’t the best parenting move but Namjoon can’t let the inspiration pass by, so he selects some Seokjin approved content and play it for the boy before pulling out a pen and paper.

Jungkook shifts and fidgets on his lap, occasionally repeating out loud whatever the little Einsteins are saying, he seems fully absorbed in his show until Namjoon starts playing the song he’s been working on, little by little Jungkook begins moving to the rhythm of the song and Namjoon chuckles “you like that?”

" I guess that's a yes" he says when Jungkook squeals while clapping his hands "it's a song for daddy, most of my songs are about him but this one is for him, you helped me write it" Namjoon says watching fondly as the toddler gets increasingly hyped by the music “you'll grow up to be a great musician or an actual bunny"

"appa, selca!" the boy said grinning widely shaking the phone in his hand

"sure, give me that” Jungkook hands him the phone, Namjoon opens the front camera and the boy immediately starts to make kissy faces at it much like Seokjin does

"talk to the camera, say something" Namjoon says pressing record and setting it against the speaker

"love, love, love appa" Jungkook giggles grabbing his hand and holding nuzzling it

"ah kid, you're killing me with your cuteness" Namjoon says bringing his free hand to his heart "I really hope you grow up knowing how loved you are, you and your brothers” Jungkook isn’t really listening too busy acting cute for the camera but Namjoon needs to say it out loud “you guys are lucky to have your daddy, he would do anything for you, He's done everything for you, you're also lucky to have each other” the father says ruffling the boys hair “please don't annoy your hyungs too much when you're older” Namjoon then looks at the silly faces Jungkook is making through the screen and smiles “Don't abuse the power you have over me, those pretty eyes are dangerous, that's how you just got that extra banana milk out of me… You're going to be a great person, I'm sure, that’s all that matters, the only reason I want all of you take an interest in music, its because it's who I am. I'm a man loves music, your dad and you guys” Namjoon sighs as he reaches for the phone, whispering to himself as he ends the recording “I'm so happy he gave me a chance, that he gave us a chance….”

“mine” Jungkook says taking back the phone

"you didn't understand what I'm saying right now but one day you will and you might be embarrassed to see how much of a sap your appa is” Namjoon says as Jungkook leans back on his chest, the boy blinks up at him when their eyes meet “I see some of him in you, you know?” he tells the boy “from the pictures I've seen, I can never replace him, but I hope I can be enough for you”

“Appa” Jungkook smiles he snuggles closer

“I love you Jungkook-ah” Namjoon whispers before kissing his soft hair

“love you!” the boy says back before yawning cutely

“Are you going to finally sleep tonight?” his father asks and he scrunches his face looking almost confused

“Sleep?”

“Uh huh” Namjoon chuckles softly taking his phone back and putting it on his desk “Time to sleep”

“Nooo” the little one whines when Namjoon stands up from his chair and heads for the couch

“Okay, we'll just sit here for a little bit” he offers, groaning as he melts on the much more comfortable couch, Jungkook might want to go to sleep just yet but maybe Namjoon can rest his eyes for a little.

Namjoon woke up to a pair little hands touching his face, it happened often enough that it didn’t startle him, he simply brought his hand up to rub his eyes

"appa, rise and shine" Jimin sweetly but loudly whispered next to him

"wakey, wakey appa" Taehyung's voice called somewhere above him

What time is it?" Namjoon grumbles

“Lunch time” this time Seokjin answers and as the younger man opens his eyes he sees him standing up by the feet of the couch with Taehyung in arms

"What? Lunch time?" Namjoon asks groggily as he tries to sit up

“Kookie is asleep" Jimin shushes him and caressing his brother's hair

“please wake him up, I don’t want him to miss another meal” Seokjin says as Namjoon tries to make sense of the situation, they're at his studio and Jungkook is cuddled impossibly close to his chest “food is served, come on” the chef says heading out, leaving him, Jimin and a stirring Jungkook

“Appa, look we made the salad!" Jimin tells him

"really?” that's amazing" Namjoon says with as much enthusiasm as he can manage having just risen “Jungkook-ah, time to wake up” he wakes up his youngest and he doesn’t cry but he does stare into the nothingness swaying and almost falling back to his chest

"I cut the lettuce and then helped mix it" his older son tells him as he closes the door to his studio

"was it fun?" Namjoon ask and Jimin decides he wants to hold his hand for the short distance

"yes!" he says swaying their joined hands, when they finally make it inside, everyone else is already sitting in their assigned spots

“food looks great, specially the salad” Namjoon comments as he straps Jungkook into his booster seat

"I chopped a bell pepper and a cucumber" Yoongi informs him casually

"all by yourself?" his father asks

"yup" the oldest son says smugly

Seokjin had recently bought kid safe nylon knives and cute cutting boards for each of the kids, every once in a while he puts them on their learning towers and stepping stools lets them help out in the kitchen. Namjoon has been reading all of Seokjin's parenting books in his free time, because of that he understands why he does or doesn't certain things, like what shows he lets the kids watch, how much of a certain food they get to have and what activities they do on their free time.

One of the books says that letting the children help in the kitchen helps them feel empowered and competent it also helps them learn to love vegetables because they get to take part in the preparation process

Of course, they need the guidance of their parents and let's just say Seokjin is a lot more loving and patient with the kids than he was when he was teaching Namjoon and it has become one there of their favorite summer activities.

“I washed the tomatoes, appa" Hoseok joins in

"that's a very important job Hobi" Namjoon nods appreciatively

"I helped daddy drain the chickpeas and I ate a few" Tae ads grabbing his spoon

"Tae! Aren't those chickpeas for our salad?" Namjoon gasps 

"I only ate a few, look appa" the second youngest giggles

“I'll clean up the kitchen later” he tells Seokjin when their eyes meet

“right, let’s start eating everyone!” his partner says clapping his hands

After doing the dishes Namjoon went back to his studio, last night really served as inspiration to finish the last song he'd been working on, He could see Seokjin and the kids playing in the garden, the children were soaking wet as they ran around with the sprinklers, it was tempting to go outside and join them, especially when Seokjin pulled out a tray of mango raspberry ice pops but he was determined to finally finish this project so he can finally spend time with his family without having to worry about a deadline.

The label executives would be glad when he informed them that he was actually done with the album and he would be glad to get them off his back after months of them pressuring him to release a follow up to his lp.

Whatever came next Namjoon didn't want to worry about it just yet, promotions and interviews weren't something he looked forward to but it would be nice to step on a stage once again.

He sends the email to the label and lets out a sigh of relief, feels good to get that weight off your shoulders, to finally be able to focus on something else. He stretches his arms and looks at the time, it's not unreasonably late but it's way past dinner time and he wonders why Seokjin didn't come to get him so he checks his phone and sees a single message from the man 'dinner is in the oven' which is unusual to say the least. Namjoon heads to the house ignores his dinner all together, he knows the kids are probably in bed by now so he sets to find Seokjin, he worries more when the other man is silent than when he’s constantly nagging, teasing, complaining and pouting cutely.

But he checks on the kids first, Yoongi's basketball night light is on, and he's sleeping on his side with his knees bend toward his chest, Namjoon walks in and pulls the blanket over his shoulder before he closes the door when he leaves and walks across the hall to Hoseok's room. The second oldest is sleeping in his back, wearing his pink glow in the dark pajamas and holding his stuffed dog Mickey on a tight grip, Namjoon chuckles as he combs the boy's fluffy hair with his fingers watching his chest rise and fall for a little while, this is the quietest Hobi ever is, so he allows himself to watch the boy for a few minutes before he moves on to the twin’s room.

As expected Jimin and Taehyung are all cuddle up in the same bed, Taehyung's larger frame clinging onto his smaller brother who sleeps with a content smile on his pouty lips, Namjoon grabs a blanket from the unused bed and drapes it over them knowing that though they look peaceful at the moment later on one of them will start a battle for the blanket, after making sure that the older kids are safe and sound he heads to his room, cracking open the door carefully as Seokjin is a light sleeper and lately so is Jungkook.

Seokjin is standing on the balcony, Jungkookie in arms with his head resting on his father's shoulder with his eyes closed "Perhaps the reason this night looks so beautiful, is not because of these stars or lights, but us" Seokjin sings as he slowly sways side to side

Namjoon chooses to quickly change into his pajamas and get ready for bed instead of disturbing them, he walks back from the bathroom just as Seokjin is closing the door separates the nursery from their room

"is he down for the night?" he asks in an unnecessarily quiet and hesitant voice

"who knows anymore?" Seokjin mumbles

"right…" Namjoon nods and figures this is as good time as any to talk, he’s putting his thoughts together when Seokjin beats him to speak

“I'm sorry about earlier” the older man says fidgeting with the sleeve of his pajamas “I was just being neurotic”

“Don't say that” Namjoon frowns coming closer, Seokjin isn’t much shorter than him but at the moment he looks tiny, vulnerable.

“It's not like I want to control every second of your day, every aspect of your life- I know I nag you and” Seokjin says looking down at his bare feet

“it’s because you care and everything you said was true” he says, finishing the sentence for him “I’m sorry too, I know I have been spending way too much time in the studio when I should have been with you and-”

“No Namjoon, that's your job, your passion- music is your first love and I completely understand” Seokjin says looking almost frantic, Namjoon approaches him slowly, his heart breaking at the evident sadness in his partners face “You’re working on something amazing and in the end it's going to be so worth it so what if I have to go to bed alone a couple of times? I shouldn't be acting this needy but…It's just been hard lately and I missed you...”

“oh baby I missed you too” when he’s finally close enough Namjoon pulls him into his arms and holds him tightly “you know you are my person, right? My desire, my pride” he tells him peppering kisses all over his face and making Seokjin giggle and sniffle at the same time “you’re my love, my one and only love-”

“we have five kids, I can’t be your only love” Seokjin grumbles, hiding his flushed face in the crook of his neck

“you get why I mean” Namjoon chuckles resting his head on top of his “oh and by the way, I finished today”

“Huh?” Seokjin snaps his head up so quickly that almost bump heads

“My new album, it's done” Namjoon grins feeling amazing to finally say that out loud

“What? Namjoon-ah!” the younger man shushes him gently and points towards the nursery, Seokjin cover his mouth with both of his hands but his eyes still shine with joy

“I might have to re-record a few things but it's pretty much done, I have all the songs” he tells him and Seokjin and tries to avoid looking at those gorgeous eyes as they well up tears, because he really doesn’t want to start crying right now

“that’s so great love, I’m so happy for you” this time it’s Seokjin’s turn to pull him in for a hug “When can I hear them?”

“Soon” Namjoon answers

“How soon?” Seokjin asks looking up at him

“I want it to be perfect before you hear it” he tells him with an apologetic smile

“Aish” the shorter man slaps his side gently and Namjoon laughs “Well, I won't let you try the new steak recipe I'm working on until it's perfect”

“So mature of you” Namjoon snorts and Seokjin playfully rolls his eyes as a pout begins to form on his lips “Maybe I can change your mind”

“Nope”

“Please?”

“No”

“Pretty please?”

“You are pretty but your ‘please’ doesn't work” Seokjin tells him, Namjoon’s chuckles die down when travel down to the pair of plushy lips

“I can find another way to convince you” he says before kissing the love of his life. The third love of his live if you want to be more specific, with music being the first, Yoongi the second, Seokjin and the rest of the kids tied on the third spot, the order of arrival doesn’t really matter to Namjoon, he’s simply grateful that he can have them all in his life.


	6. Like the pied piper

Seokjin waited for the kids to fall asleep before he flopped down on his desk chair and opened the cardboard box that had been sitting on his desk for the past week. He’d been meaning to get around to this before but he simply couldn't find the time, with Namjoon out of town and the kids out of school, it was hard to find a peaceful moment to sit down and go through the contents of said box. It had been a special delivery from Namjoon’s sister, Geon-Min didn't ask too many questions when Seokjin had asked for any baby pictures she had of Yoongi.

She personally delivered the box to him, smiling ear to ear as she shoved the box in his arms before she even got through the door, she is a devoted aunt so of course the next thing she did was greet each of the kids with a hug and a kiss, when the little ones finally settled down and went back to their toys and coloring, Seokjin called her to the kitchen and offered her a cup of tea.

"look at this little dumpling" she'd said when he showed Seokjin her a picture of a 4-month-old Yoongi "he was the cutest little thing"

"he still is'' was Seokjin's reply, he sighed watching his eldest pouting just like he was in the picture, lips pursed as he tried to assemble a puzzle on the coffee table.

The rest of the pictures were just as precious, baby Yoongi wearing a way too big red and white big snap back with Jackson next to him wearing a similar hat and throwing a gang sign. another one of toddler Yoongi on the beach with his little head peeking out of the sand wearing pineapple sunglasses and Geon-Min holding a plastic sand shovel, another one of Yoongi sitting on the kitchen counter next to counter next to a kimchi urn, his grandmother's hands holding him up and Seokjin's favorite, Namjoon sitting on his bed, illuminated by the glow of his laptop screen, wearing a ratty stained t-shirt, headphones and glasses on with Yoongi asleep on his chest holding onto his father's shirt with his tiny fist. Seokjin cooed when he saw it then and he coos now seeing them for the hundredth time.

Seokjin was working on a special project to surprise Namjoon when he came back from New York, It's something simple, a wooden with Yoongi's name carved on it, inside it was his first hanbok, the toy microphone he'd chosen from the table at his doljabi ceremony, a pair of his baby shoes and the scrapbook Seokjin was currently working on.

He'd made one for each of his kids, a box containing the memories of their early years, things they might not be able to remember on their own, things they'll need to have a sense of identity, to understand their origins, to give them reassurance that they are loved and that they matter to the people they call family.

Unlike Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook's scrapbook, Yoongi's has a picture of both of his biological parents, the one picture Namjoon kept of Soyeon, was one of her sitting a table of what seems to be a café, resting her face on her hand looking slightly bored, her pinky doing that cute little thing Yoongi's does when he sits like this and it's not the only thing he got from her, his pale skin and delicate features are all her, her cat like eyes are both sharp and distant as he looks out the window to her right, couple of Namjoon's books sit on the tiny table on front of her along with a tall glass of iced americano, her other hand Seokjin notices, rests on her belly, not caressing it but rather trying to conceal it behind her elegant black coat.

"She wasn't happy and she didn't try hard to pretend she was" Namjoon said when he showed him the picture and Seokjin could tell she had that longing gaze, that of a caged bird yearning to fly away.

Soyeon was now flying amongst the most successful lawyers of Korea, she was doing well and every year she transfers some money into a trust fund for Yoongi, that much Seokjin knows.

Yoongi seems to have mostly forgotten about her and Seokjin wonders if that's a good thing, his therapist told them it was normal, that because of how Yoongi’s life has changed, somethings tend to slip from their young minds, they’re still there behind all the new memories his brain is forming now, set aside for the future.

Namjoon has never hidden this picture or refused to talk to Yoongi about his mother so he figures its okay to include it in the scrapbook, she was a part of who he was, not only genetically but the reality is that her absence in his life had will continue to mark him as a person, either way she’s there, her picture along with everyone else that holds any significance in his son’s life.

He gets lost in the task, cutting and gluing and arranging the pictures until he's satisfied with the results, until he hears the door slowly opening

"daddy?" Hoseok calls, peeking inside the room

"come in darling" Seokjin beckons him inside "are you okay?"

"can't sleep" the boy says as he closes the door with his free hand, the other one holding tightly onto his beloved Mickey.

"Come sit with me for a while" Seokjin says opening his arms and scooting back on the chair to allow his son to climb onto his lap "Are you hungry? Thirsty?" he asks running his fingers through the boy's hair

"I'm sad" Hoseok admits snuggling closer to his father's chest

"Do you want to talk about why you're sad?" Seokjin asks and the boy simply shakes his head

"I miss appa" the child grumbles and Seokjin sighs

"I miss him too, but he’ll be home soon" he tells his son, he always tries to be honest with them, so they can in turn be honest with him, he wants his kids to be able to express their feelings and thoughts no matter how confusing they may seem and never have to bottle them inside themselves like he had to growing up, Hoseok is a little shy when it comes to admitting to having other emotions other than happiness and excitement, Seokjin has tried to teach him that there's no such a thing as negative emotions, that they are all valid and that's he's allowed to feel every single one of them without shame but maybe because he's the eldest or maybe because Seokjin is being a bit hypocritical because he does the exact same thing, but Hoseok chooses to hide his downs, his shadows and show only his light “you want to stay with daddy for a little while?” the kids nods and they stay silent for a while, Seokjin gets back to work until Hoseok begins eyeing the contents on his desk, his curiosity winning over his sadness "what's this?"

"a scrapbook, I'm making one for Yoongi's box" Seokjin replies running his fingers through his son’s hair

"can I see?" the boy asks perking up and his father hums

"don't you think he should see his own box first?"

"I guess" Hoseok mumbles as he looks around the room, looking for the next thing that will catch his eye "can I see my box then?"

"It's right there, go get it" Seokjin says pointing to the lower shelve on the floor to ceiling shelving unit mounted on the wall "those are your brother's" he says when Hoseok pulls the other boxes as well "you can take a look" 

He allows him to pull the boxes closer by himself, he’s still going through that ‘I can do it myself’ phase so Seokjin knows better than to interfere, he simply watches as the boy opens each box, pulling a small pastel green knitted blanket out of his box “That's your blanket from when you came from the hospital” he explains

“So tiny” Hoseok giggles

“Yeah” Seokjin chuckles coming to sit on the floor next to his son “You were born prematurely; you were this tiny little thing” he says pulling out his scrapbook and flipping through the first couple of pages 

"what's prema-truly?" the boy asks confused

“it means you were born before time”

“But why?” the kid pushes and Seokjin blinks, he actually doesn’t know why, at the time he just wanted to know if his baby boy was healthy, Hoseok’s biological mother was young and it was a high-risk pregnancy, luckily in the end both baby and mother made it to the end safely and that’s all that matters

“B-because you were so excited to get here!" he says hoping the boy doesn’t notice the tiny squeeze he felt in his heart and pushes the photo album closer to him “Here’s a picture, look how small you were” It showed a finger, his daddy's index finger and wrapped around it a bony little fist, Hoseok grins flipping to the next page, Seokjin holding a little lump swaddled with the blanket he showed him before, was supposed to be him, that little green lump, resting secure in his father's arms.

Hoseok smiles up at his father and turns back to take a closer look at the picture, at his father's face, he's smiling widely but his eyes are red and puffy from crying, he seems to be at a hospital, Daddy told him that he had to spend a few days in the hospital after he was born because the doctors wanted to make sure he was okay before he could leave. 

Hoseok closes his scrapbook and glances at his father’s desk, where Yoongi’s pictures are scattered, earlier he saw a picture of a beautiful woman, Yoongi’s mother and couldn’t help but to wonder what his mother looked like all daddy had told him was that a different man and woman made him, Hoseok grew in that woman’s belly, he didn't know them but it's okay because then daddy and adopted him. That’s how they became a family, it was the same with his younger brothers more or less.

“These were Tae's first shoes, he only got him to wear them long enough to take a few pictures” Seokjin pulls him from his thoughts and shows him a pair of shoes that seem so small that they wouldn’t even fit Jungkook

“Tae-tae hates shoes” he giggles and his father smiles shaking his head

“I know” Seokjin continues going through the boxes as Hoseok craws into his lap “And this cute little onesie was Jiminie's favorite, It was the only thing he didn't try to take off, I had to buy a dozen of the same one otherwise my baby would've been naked 24/7” Hoseok remembers that onesie, Jimin was wearing it when he ‘accidentally’ spilled a green smoothie on him, he grimaces at the memory, he wanted attention from his parents, he was felt like the twins were getting all the attention and he didn’t like it one bit but the only think he could think to do was to throw his plastic cup across the table, splashing Jimin who was sitting on his high chair, he instantly regretted it when the baby started crying, not because he got scolded but because he felt bad for making his brother cry, he got better at being hyung by the time Jungkook came around.

He barely remembers when Jimin and Taehyung came home, he was way too young but he remembers when Jungkook came home and when someone else didn't. They were all happy about their new sibling but then it turned into sadness, he remembers uncle Jin-young staying at their house for weeks, people gathered at their house, the tears and the smell of incense and the pretty flowers all around, he remembers crying as he held onto his daddy's hand though he doesn't really know why.  
“These I bought for Jungkook but he never got to wear them, they were too small for him” Seokjin says all smiles now, unlike then “Remember how big he was?”

“Chubby bunny!” Hoseok laughs remembering when the maknae’s front teeth started growing

“Yes, he was our chubby bunny” Seokjin lets out a soft laugh as he flips through Jungkook’s scrapbook, a picture falls from between the pages of the books and Hoseok grabs it, bringing it closer to his face to inspect it

“You look pretty here daddy” he says, opting to focus on him and not on the figure next to him and the realization that it took him a moment to recognize him, his daddy thanks him and he hands him back the picture

“It was our wedding day, before any of you were born" Seokjin says taking a closer look at the picture with an unreadable expression

“When you lived in Korea?” Hoseok asks snuggling even closer to his father

“We couldn’t get married there, so we came here” daddy’s low voice rumbles on his chest

“Why not?” the boy blinks up at his father

“Because… well its against the law” he says putting the picture back where they found it “People there think only a man and a woman should be allowed to get married”

“But what if you love someone else?” the child asks scrunching his face

“They don’t like that very much” daddy says rubbing his back

“Oh… that’s not nice” he mumbles and feels his father shrug

“That’s just how things are there”

“But things are different here, right?” he asks rubbing his eyes when they suddenly stat to feel heavy “You and appa can get married”

“We could but” he feels Seokjin tense but he’s too tired to care

“Because you love each other very much” he adds

“of course we do but-” Hoseok lets out a yawn before his daddy can finish his sentence

“Sorry daddy” he mumbles, nuzzling into the soft fabric of his father’s pajamas “I’m getting sleepy”

“alright, let’s get you to bed sunshine” he hears before he closes his eyes and completely relaxes into his daddy’s hold, where he knows he’ll always be safe, he dreams of the picture where his daddy looked so pretty dressed in pink but in his dream all of them are standing next to him.

-

Namjoon was in New York for the week, his hotel room was nice, cozy with a great view of central park, when he wasn’t exploring the city, he was busy doing press, shoots for magazines, interviews, radio and talk shows, he also hung out with a couple of friends and met up with a few people he'd like to collaborate with in the future, he figured he might as well make connections while he's here.

It happened really fast, after Namjoon the finished the album the label was in a rush to begin promotions. This time Namjoon was in no place to decline interviews so he had to suck it up an answer the same generic questions time and time again. If nothing, dealing with five kids had given him the endless patience he needed, but he would very much prefer answering a hundred times to his son’s ‘when are we going to get there?’ than answering which artist he’d like to collaborate with next. 

Luckily after this morning’s shoot, he had the afternoon free, so after a late lunch at his favorite deli, he heads to the 48th Av. to the jewelry store he and Jackson visited the last time they were here on a business trip almost two years ago. Today he’s here to pick up something on behalf of his friend, Jackson has always had a taste for the finer things in life, mainly designer clothes and expensive jewelry, on top of that, the man enjoyed giving gifts to their loved ones and there wasn’t anyone in the world Jackson loved more than Jinhyung. They’d be celebrating their first anniversary soon and Jackson had ordered a custom-made cufflink for his husband, which is why Namjoon is here right now.

"hello, are you by any chance Mr. Kim?

He walks through the floor to ceiling glass doors and immediately a young lady approaches him with her best customer service smile on, she’s tall and blonde and wears elegant clothing that make Namjoon feel a little out of place, he was wearing a hoodie, gym shorts and his favorite combo of socks and sandals, still he managed a confident smile and extends his hand towards the woman.

“Yes, I am”

“we spoke on the phone earlier, I'm Barbara, Mr. Wang’s order is right this way” she leads him to one of the many glass displays pouching in a number and opening the door, she takes out a tiny black velvet box and hands it over to Namjoon

“usually, we prefer for our clients to pick up their custom-made items personally, that way they can check them before they leave the store but Mr. Wang is one of our dearest costumers so we made an exception for him” Barbara says, Of course, he was, Namjoon cringed a little thinking about just how much money his friend had to spend here to earn the tittle of ‘dearest costumer’, either way who was he to judge? He had just spent a ridiculous amount of money on a dinner table, to each his own.

“they’re perfect” he says looking at the diamond cufflinks, Namjoon doesn’t know much about jewelry but he knows what the cufflinks were supposed to look like, he was with Jackson when he ordered them and here they are in all their luxurious glory

“wonderful, let me wrap them up for you and print out a copy of our insurance policy and the receipts” the woman smiled taking back the box and heading towards a desk nearby

“sure”

Namjoon look around the shop, the perfectly positioned lights make all the diamonds in the room shine even brighter, not far from him a young couple stands in front of a display.

The man looks bored out of his mind as the woman tries on yet another diamond ring, another woman dressed similarly to Barbara is patiently assisting the couple, showing her ring after ring and giving out information about each of them “this one is our pear-shaped pink diamond ring white round diamonds side stones” Namjoon’s eyes get caught on the sparking gem and he shifts hopping to get a better look “the band is made of platinum and-”

“oh no I want gold” the woman says turning up her nose, like she’s a child presented with her least favorite vegetable

“platinum is better” the man standing her sighs

“it’s my engagement ring and if I want gold, I’m getting gold” she says through gritted teeth

“fine” he says rolling his eyes and pulling out his phone

“you know what? We’re not doing this today- you’re ruining my special day” the woman says stumping her foot much like Jimin does when he’s throwing a tantrum, minus the Manolo Blahnik pumps

“every day is your special day!” the man exclaims as the woman storms away

“whatever!” she calls over her shoulder and heads for the door

“sorry about that…” the guy tells the woman behind the counter

“don’t worry sir” she waves him off with a polite smile, the man leaves and he begins to put the rings back behind the glass display, the pink ring still sits on the counter and he can’t seem to take his off of it, feels like he can’t look anywhere else and a need to get closer, much like he felt when he first saw Seokjin “can I help you with anything sir?”

He was now standing in front of the counter, didn’t even register he had moved, but now he’s close enough that he can read the name tag on the saleswoman, so he blinks a couple of times before gestures to the pink ring “is this the last ring you mentioned?”

“oh yes” the woman, Caroline, smiles and slides the velvet ring holder towards him “well, this one is our pear shaped 5.35 carats pink diamond engagement ring with 0.55 white round diamonds side stones on a platinum band, it’s part of our latest collections” she explains as Namjoon dares to take a closer look “but we have many options for engagement rings, were you looking for anything in particular?”

“uh, no” he says carefully holding the ring between his fingers “I didn’t even realize I was looking for engagement rings- but this one is…”

“gorgeous isn’t it?” Barbara appears next to him and joins the conversation and he simply nods dumbly

“the designer decided to make only one of each for this collection, so it’s one of a kind” Caroline ads

“it’s perfect” he says and the two women exchange smiles

“do you need help figuring out the size?” Barbara asks and he sakes his head

“54, size 54 US size” he blurts out and he tells himself that its completely normal that he knows this, that he just casually knows Seokjin’s ring size 

“this one is a bit on the bigger side but we can make it a perfect fit for your fiancé” Caroline says and that last word finally gets Namjoon to snap out if it

“hold on” he says raising his hand and taking a deep breath “I need to make a call”

“of course, sir “Caroline smiles

“take all time you need” Barbara calls as he puts some space between them, he doesn’t waste any time and dials Jackson’s number as soon as he pulls out his phone 

“hello?” the loud traffic of the city filtering trough the phone and accompanying Jackson’s voice

“Jackson, for once I need you to talk me out of doing something stupid instead of the other way around” he says trying to keep it low but unable to keep the panic out of his voice

“what- Hey!” his friend exclaims, he hears a car door closing and the noise significantly reduces “what are you on about?”

“I came here to pick up your stuff and” Namjoon begins rambling “now I’m seriously thinking about getting engaged, am I seriously going to ask Seokjin to marry me just because I found a pretty ring?”

“seriously… what?” Jackson asks but Namjoon is sure he heard him the fist time

“I was about to leave with your things but I saw the most perfect ring for Seokjin” he explains looking out of the window but the spark of the ring reflects on the glass and he turns to look at it again “an engagement ring and now I’m close to having a panic attack in the middle of the store because I’m seriously thinking about buying and I can’t get myself to move away from it”

“what does it look like?” his friend asks “want me to see if they can give you a discount?”

“what? Jackson, are you listening to me? aren’t you freaking out about me suddenly talking about marrying Seokjin?” he says gripping the phone tighter than necessary

“you didn’t magically decide this, I know you, you’ve probably been thinking about his for ages otherwise you wouldn’t even be considering it” he responds in a casual tone, can almost picture him shrugging 

“I mean… yeah but”

“see? It didn’t come out of nowhere” Jackson says calmy and Namjoon can barely hear him over the beating of his heart

“you always wanted to get married and Seokjin obviously isn’t opposed to the idea” the man on the other line says “you two practically share a life now, raising your kids together- Namjoon you even bought a house for him”

“I didn’t buy it for him… I bout it for us” Namjoon tries to amend but as soon he says it he realizes he’s only proving Jackson’s point

“because you guys are a family” he says sighing dreamily “you just need to sign a thingy to make it official”

“a thingy? That’s what you call a marriage contract? A contract that literary says till death dous part” Namjoon asks now in full panic mode

“I know how serious it is Namjoon-ah, I signed that contract myself, remember?” Jackson says remaining ever so calm

“but isn’t it too soon? Aren’t we rushing?” he asks, trying to remember to breath like his therapist recommended

“do you feel like it’s too soon? Do you feel like you’re rushing?” his friend turns the question to him; he takes a moment to consider before answering

“no…” he admits “but he might”

“well, you don’t have to ask him right away” Jackson chuckles good naturedly “but when the time comes, you’ll know you’re already one step ahead”

“but-”

“buy the ring Namjoon-ah” the man all but whines and if he was here Namjoon thinks he would be shaking him by the shoulders at this moment “do something impulsive for once in your life!”

Namjoon had been thinking about it for a while, longer than he’d like to admit. He thought about marrying Seokjin, mostly so they could officially become a family but maybe it was too soon, maybe dangling a life time commitment would scare Seokjin away, he is the one after all, that has been down that road before. Namjoon thought about marriage before, though about finding a person he could commit to and start a family with, and they did it in the wrong order but he firmly believes Seokjin is the right person.

Impulsive decisions turned out to be some of the best decisions Namjoon ever made in his life. When he decided to raise Yoongi on his own, when he decided to send a demo to this random record label to give his music career one last try, when he got together with Seokjin, those decisions were terrifying at the time but they’d paid off and Namjoon’s life was so much better because of them. So, before he could stop himself or second guess, he pulled out his black credit card and took a deep breath “I’ll take it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone's still reading this... I love you!


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